#this got a bit more serious that i was expecting

[harrywavycurly]

Worth the Fight Part 2: City of Love

Masterlist: Here

CW: Mentions of pregnancy, language, bit of light arguing, brief details of the hook up in the bathroom, miscommunication and a touch of panic attack symptoms mentioned.

Tag List: @kookjipao @msolbesg @lomlolivia @namoreno @outofthisworl-d @mema10 @watarmelon212 @natykn @sassamanda77 @st-ev-ie @ghayda0 @hannah9921 @indierockgirrl @chaoticthoughts2022 @lizsogolden

A/N: I know it’s not Thursday but I just wanted to get this up because this week is a busy one for me! Hope yall enjoy it!!✨

Summary: Harry gets the confirmation he needs but wasn’t really expecting while you try to be as nice as possible to him, oh and Harry meets your cat! So enjoy getting a little look at the way your personalities work/clash together✨

“So uh-you’re actually pregnant.” Harry says with a heavy sigh as he watches you dig around in your purse for your car keys. You pause your search so you can look up at him just in time to see him run a hand over his face. “I just really thought maybe your tests were wrong? Like maybe you got a bad batch or something and-”

“A bad batch? Harry I took four different kinds of tests.”

“Well yeah but still I just don’t know how this happened?”

“Did your parents not have the talk with you about how babies are made? Surely you know how this happened.” Harry ignores your snippy remark as you resume your search for your keys as he presses the down button for the elevator.

The two of you just got done visiting with your doctor who confirmed you are in fact pregnant and suggested a well known obstetrician and gynecologist, Dr. Andrews that could take over and do the paternity test once you call and set up an initial appointment with his office and see exactly how far along you are. You weren’t shocked by the news, but Harry on the other hand sat there with his mouth hung open as if he didn’t expect it at all and you aren’t sure why considering you told him how many tests you took and how they all said pregnant in different ways. You know he had to be reminded of how the two of you met, seeing as he meets so many people and all but you just assumed that once he had his moment of clarity and remembered meeting you that the memory of the rest of the evening would also begin to not be as fuzzy for him but he’s proving that theory very wrong with every confused glance and silly question he tosses your way.

“I thought we were careful?” He questions once the elevator doors open up allowing the two of you to step inside, you let out a chuckle as he moves to stand next to you crossing his arms over his chest while he shoots you a glare. “Are you giggling? What’s so funny about this?” You just shake your head as you finally feel your keys on the bottom of your purse.

“Oh you-you’re being serious?” You ask as you look over at him with a raised brow making him nod his head in response. “I wasn’t aware that the pull out method was really even considered a form of being careful?” Harry’s eyes go wide as his arms fall to his sides and that’s how you figure out he really is struggling to put the pieces together of what exactly happened in that bathroom so you decide to give him just one more detail to help him understand how the two of you really ended up in this situation.

“And by the way in order for that method to work you actually have to pull out.” You add casually as you reach over and press the button for the lobby while Harry’s cheeks turn a light shade of pink as he looks down at the floor in an attempt to hide his embarrassment.

“So are you going to want to be at all the appointments?” You ask a few minutes later as the two of you enter the lobby of the medical building your doctor’s office is in. Harry looks around and brings a hand up to rub at the back of his neck while you adjust the strap of your purse on your shoulder as you wait for him to answer.

“I don’t know? I just-this is a lot.” He finally replies a few moments later making you purse your lips and slowly nod your head before you turn and head for the front entrance of the building. Harry doesn’t know what to do but he knows the two of you have things to discuss so he just quickly rushes to catch up to you and when he finds you heading for a small beat up looking car that’s parked in a very obvious no parking zone his eyebrows pinch together while his hand reaches out to grab your elbow causing you to stop walking and look at him over your shoulder.

“Look I’ll tell you how my next appointment goes and when they can do the paternity test-”

“Is this your car?” Harry asks interrupting your little rant, you watch his eyes go from your face to the car directly behind you.

“Yes. She’s very reliable even though she looks a bit rough.” You say in your car’s defense as you take a step away from him making his hand fall from its hold on your elbow as he stares at you in almost disbelief as you take your car key and unlock the passenger side door and toss your purse inside before closing it so you can turn and face Harry with your arms loosely crossed over your chest.

“This can’t be safe for you to be driving around in.” You roll your eyes at his statement as he takes a step to the side so he can give your car a proper once over and when he sees a dent on the front bumper he raises an eyebrow while pointing at it. “You run into things a lot?” He asks as he looks over at you from where he’s now stood near the front of your car.

“Leave Melanie alone okay she’s nice and gets me where I need to go.” You snap at him as you turn and place a hand on top of your car so you can give it a little pat. “I’ve had her since I was seventeen so yeah she’s got a few bumps-”

“Melanie? You named your car? Have you really had this thing since you were seventeen?”

“Yes Melanie just fits her and yeah Harry I’ve had this thing since I was seventeen because most people keep their cars for a while since we can’t all have a driver to take us places or have a fancy collection of cars we don’t use.” Harry doesn’t say anything in response so after a few moments of silence you take that as a sign the conversation is over so you just turn to round the front of the car and get into the driver’s seat.

“You’re in a no parking zone you know that right?” Harry says breaking the silence just as you open your door, you look at the sign that’s posted on the sidewalk right above where you’re parked and just shrug making Harry let out a huff as he rolls his eyes.

“I was in a hurry.”

“You mean you were running late?”

“No I mean I was in a hurry.”

“Are you late to a lot of things? Is that something I should get used to?”

“I don’t know Harry do you want to get used to me?”

“What? That’s not-not what I meant I just want to know if you’re late a lot?”

“I wasn’t late today was I?”

“No but clearly you were worried about it since you were rushing enough to just park in a no parking zone-what if your car would’ve gotten towed? What would you have done?” While he’s speaking you take the time to look him over and that’s when you notice it, his hands are clenching and unclenching fists by his sides and his cheeks are slightly flushed and his eyes are a bit wide, he looks like he’s on the verge of a panic attack of some sort and him asking you these pointless questions is his attempt at holding it off.

You ignore his eyes that dart to various parts of your face and upper half of your body as if his mind can’t decide where it wants to focus as you close the driver’s side door with a bit of force making sure it stays closed and round the front of your car so you’re standing in front of him. You wonder for a moment as you stare at him if it’s your hormones already kicking in that makes you feel the need to make him feel better or if it’s just Harry who has this extremely annoying power to drive you to the brink of wanting to smack him a few time with your purse and leave him standing on the sidewalk alone and confused to all of a sudden switching it up to were you’re wanting to make sure he’s okay when he shows you any signs of distress. He watches your hands as they reach out and grab his and when you fill the gaps between his fingers with your own and give his hands a nice solid squeeze you watch his chest fall as he lets out a deep breath and his shoulders slump a bit. You look him in his eyes and give him a small smile while still giving his hands little reassuring squeezes.

“Would you like to come over? Have some tea?” Your question not only shocks Harry but you as well, not sure what came over you to even let the words slip out of your mouth, surely it’s just the hormones. Harry chews on his bottom lip for a moment before he looks down at his watch on his right wrist, checking the time before he looks back up at you.

“Uh sure yeah-yeah I can come over for a bit.” He answers with a nod. You just let go of his hands and reach over for the passenger side door handle so you can open it for him. Harry quickly looks at you with worried eyes and begins shaking his head and backing away from you while trying to reach into the front pocket of his jeans for his phone.

“Oh no I’ll just call my-”

“Harry.” You say with a sigh as you continue to hold the door open for him, he stops fumbling for his phone and stares at you making you roll your eyes as you gesture to the passenger seat with a tilt of your head.

“Just get in the car.” With that Harry just lets out a groan as he reluctantly takes a step towards the open door and bends down so he can pick up your purse off the seat. You bite back a laugh as you watch him have to duck down a bit to get into your car and he makes a show of buckling himself in nice and tightly once he’s sat in the seat. You give him a smile as he places your purse in his lap just as you close the door for him so you can go and get into the driver’s seat and take the two of you to your apartment.

“Do you have a cat?” You look at Harry over your shoulder from where you’re making yourself a cup of herbal tea in the kitchen and smile when you see him messing with a random stuffed mouse that somehow ended up on your table.

As if on queue Harry looks down as he feels something rub against his shin and you see a small smile tug at the corners of his lips when he sees your orange cat greeting him with a few purrs but it’s when you see him rub his head against Harry’s ankles that you feel obligated to warn him about something.

“Oh but watch out he might-” your words get cut off by a tiny squeal from Harry as he takes a step towards you with his eyes set in a glare aimed at the orange cat that’s decided to now head into the living room since Harry didn’t allow him to fully chomp down on his ankle like he wanted.

“He just bit me.” Harry states as he watches your cat jump onto your sofa and quickly flop down into a comfortable laying position. “He bit my ankle.” He explains while turning to now give you his full attention making you just shrug as you reach for the honey to add to your mug.

“Yeah well his name is Paris so he kinda has a thing for ankles.” Harry stares at the side of your face as you go about making your tea while explaining why your cat just bit his ankle and he rolls his eyes at how casual you are about it, but that’s something Harry is learning about you, you don’t seem to take a lot of things that seriously.

“What’s the city of love have to do with ankles?” He asks as you give the liquid in your mug a nice stir, he watches the way his question makes your brows pinch together and when you turn to look at him he sees your face looks almost concerned and he can’t imagine why considering the two of you are just talking about your cat.

“He’s named after Paris as in the one who killed Achilles.” When Harry just raises an eyebrow in response to your explanation you let out a long sigh as you pick up your mug. “Have you heard of Troy?”

“The Brad Pitt movie?” You have to fight off the urge to reach over and flick him in the ear at his answer but you just shake your head and walk past him and into your living room.

“No not the Brad Pitt movie I mean the actual story of Troy? With Achilles and Hector? The Trojan horse and all that?” Harry follows you into the living room and makes a mindful choice not to sit on the couch with the orange cat that just tried to make a meal out of his ankle, opting for the loveseat that’s placed across from the couch with a little coffee table in between the two pieces of furniture.

“Hector and the little horse thing are in the Brad Pitt movie though.” Harry explains as you get comfortable on the couch making Paris lift his head and look around to see who has come into the room and disturbed his peace.

“Little horse thing? Are you-you know what it’s not important.” You take a sip of your tea to help calm yourself down before placing it on the coffee table, Harry takes the opportunity to glance down and he quirks an eyebrow when he sees the name of the tea on the little tag hanging out of the mug.

“Paris shot Achilles in the ankle so that’s why I named him Paris…because he attacks the ankles of people he doesn’t like.” You smile as the orange cat stretches out next to you placing a paw on your thigh while Harry just lets out a scoff at the idea of your cat not liking him.

“You drink peppermint tea with honey? That’s criminal. And also there’s no way he doesn’t like me considering he just met me.” You laugh as you reach over and run your hand over Paris’s back making him purr while still keeping his eyes closed.

“Oh and it’s so hard to imagine someone not liking you after just meeting you?”

“Well yeah because he doesn’t know me so how can he not like me?”

“He knows enough to want to bite your ankle the first chance he got.”

“That’s because you’ve probably poisoned him against me.” You laugh and roll your eyes as Harry leans over and grabs your mug of tea off the table and brings it to his lips so he can taste it. “And that’s disgusting by the way.” He states with a face of disgust making you glare at him as you lean over and grab the mug from his hand before he can set it back down on the table.

“And I remember you being taller.” You mumble while Harry just glares at you from his spot on the loveseat. “What? You insulted my tea so I’m allowed to insult your-”

“I can’t really do anything about my height but you can and absolutely should fix the way you make tea because no one should be mixing honey with peppermint.” He argues as he watches you with a narrowed glare as you take a sip of your tea, you watch as he leans forward and rests his forearms on his knees and clasps his hands together.

“Is this how you always act when someone invites you into their home as a way of calming you down when you’re on the verge of a panic attack? You just insult them and-”

“I wasn’t having a panic attack.”

“You were maybe two minutes away from one and please stop interrupting me it’s so rude and isn’t your whole thing about treating people with-”

“How are you not panicking? You’re having a baby possibly my baby and you’re just sat there with your nasty tea and-”

“That’s it.” You say with a huff and Harry flinches slightly as you all but slam your mug down onto the table before standing up causing Paris to jolt awake at your sudden outburst. “You’ve insulted my car and my tea today and I was going to let it slide because that’s fine we can have differences in opinions on tea and cars but that’s on top of the fact you don’t even remember what happened between us that night and you think the story of Troy is just a Brad Pitt movie and I just-I think you should leave now.” Harry blinks up at you as your hands fall to your sides in what he almost thinks is a sign of defeat, as if you lost the internal battle you were having with yourself on trying to keep your cool with him and that makes his mouth droop a bit into a small frown.

“I remember plenty about what happened that night.” He counters as he slowly stands up while you grab your mug and turn towards the kitchen. Harry reaches for his phone in his front pocket so he can text his driver your address and a message to please come get him as soon as possible.

“If that were true then today wouldn’t have been such a shock for you.” You explain before you disappear from Harry’s sight, he can’t really put a finger on the exact feeling that comes over him as he stands there in your living room knowing that everything you said is true. He doesn’t remember exactly what went on between the two of you, at least not very clearly.

He knows that the two of you had an intimate moment in the bathroom because the evidence was shown to him this afternoon when the doctor handed him a piece of paper that told him you are truly pregnant and this is all really happening. Since then he hasn’t been able to think straight or focus on much of anything and if he’s being honest he really isn’t good in stressful situations in general, he tends to either overreact or just panic and this by far is one of the most stressful situations he’s ever found himself in and he knows he isn’t handling himself the way he should be. And your calm and relaxed demeanor just seems to make him even more unnerved because he doesn’t get how you’re not in the same panic riddled boat as him.

Harry runs a hand through his hair, giving a tug at his roots as he glances down to your couch, he catches Paris do a lengthy stretch before he sits up briefly just to look at Harry and decide that even he is fed up with him so he jumps off the couch and walks off into the kitchen. Now in that moment Harry knows he should do that as well, follow your cat’s lead and walk into your cramped kitchen so he can at least attempt to apologize for a few things but he doesn’t. Instead he just runs a knuckle under his nose as he sniffles a bit and when he feels his phone vibrate and sees a text letting him know his driver is on his way he lets out a heavy sigh. He takes one last look at your kitchen entryway, hoping that maybe you’ll come back and sit down on the couch and he thinks that he wouldn’t even mind if you didn’t say anything but just sat there not looking at him so that way he would at least be able to tell you goodbye and prove to you that he’s capable of being polite but the sound of the sink being turned on quickly wash away any traces of hope he might’ve had.

“This is so fucked.” He mumbles to himself as he walks towards your front door, he knows better than to leave the two of you like this, with certain things needing to be spoken and unkind words being the last ones said but he doesn’t have much of a choice since you won’t come out of the kitchen. So Harry opens your front door and walks out into the hallway making sure to close it as quietly as possible deciding that maybe this is for the best and at least he’s giving you exactly what you asked for, him leaving.

You watch the last bits of your tea go down the drain as the sound of your front door opening and then closing hits your ears, you take a few steps back from the sink so you can poke your head out into the living room and when you see it’s empty you just let out a sigh and go back to cleaning your mug. You didn’t want to end your afternoon like this, standing alone in your kitchen because your patience was worn too thin for the man who somehow managed to charm you into agreeing to a quickie in a bar bathroom over a month ago.

You almost don’t even know how that man and the one who was sat in your living room not even five minutes ago are the same person. The Harry you met at the bar was fun and flirty and even though he teased you throughout the night it was never with any real intention to hurt your feelings while this Harry can’t help but take every chance he can get to insult you or toss a jab your way about something. You don’t know why the corners of your mouth turn downwards at the idea of the night you two met never really meaning anything to him aside from being the night he got you pregnant. You don’t get to think about it for too much longer as Paris jumps onto the counter and makes his way over to sit next to the sink momentarily taking your mind off the curly haired boy.

“We can do this right? We’ll be fine won’t we?” You ask him while he sits there looking at you with his big green yellow-ish eyes that all of a sudden remind you a bit too much of the man who just left your apartment without even saying goodbye. “Next time bite him a bit harder okay?”

[k-yurieee]

'ALMOST ALWAYS' CHAPTER 4 IS HERE!! WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! 🎉🎉

(Edit 3 : I started writing this post/reblog last week Monday. Don't worry about what day it is today. I just kept nitpicking at it and having more thoughts that I wanted to add everytime I came back to this, and time kept getting away from me because of irl events, sooo yeah. Stuff happens.)

Edit 1 : My usual yapping will be under the cut for this one, cause I might ramble on for bit longer than usual today. Yeah, I've got some things to say. They might not be particularly intelligible, but is anything I ever say on this app comprehensible? Probably not. Soooooo buckle up I guess 🤷‍♀️

Edit 2 : (also please ignore that I'm posting this like wayyyy after I've read this chapter, I had this saved and edited as a draft and thought I had posted it after editing it, before I decided to take a nap, but... Guess I was mistaken lol. And sleep deprived, but that's besides the point. Also I guess the draft didn't even save properly earlier??? Because I'm rereading the whole thing now and I'm pretty sure there's stuff I added earlier that seems to be missing now so.... That's sooo fun haha 🙃 I'll try to re-add anything I can remember 🫡)

Edit 1 (continued) : ohhhhh my gosh, this chapter was another ✨emotional rollercoaster✨ (which isn't anything new with this series, and honestly I should've expected it but mannnn, it just gets me every. single. time 😭😭😔)

Let me just quickly gush about this part first because EEEEEEEEhEEhEEEeeeee I can never NOT giggle and kick my feet over sweet moments like this, are you KIDDING me, I'm an absolute sucker for fluff, and I will die on that hill (also I just need to let myself simmer in this fluffy warmth before I divulge into my slightly more serious thoughts, I'll get to those in a second but firsttttt LOOK AT THIS ARE YOU KIDDING MEEEEEEEE👇👇👇😭😭😭😭)

'You deserve to cuddle up next to someone who truly values your presence and genuinely just wants you to be there with them for a little while.

You deserve the soft tickling fingertips that delicately dance across your hairline, lingering there for far longer than ‘just a second’.

You deserve the barely whispered, super soft “Love you.” spoken so tenderly and punctuated with a gentle kiss pressed to the top of your head, it makes you tighten your arms around him.'

When I tell you this made me wanna scream (wouldn't be the first time this fic affected me this way lolll) into my hands and jump up and down 😭😭😭 like girl can you PLEASE be normal (and by 'you', I mean 'I', as in ME. I need to relax lmaoooo 🙃)

This chapter... This chapter was so much. I truly am not sure how to put into proper words everything it made me feel, but I will try. Honestly I feel (and have felt) more than a bit conflicted about them (Joe & R, obvs). And I mean, that's kind of expected, right?

I want to support them but I also low-key want to smack them both upside their head sometimes (but like, in an affectionate 'why did you do that, you flippin idiot, I believe in you and know you can act better than this' kind of way)

It made me remember this quote I heard a while back that went something like "sometimes we dislike other people because we see the parts of ourselves that we dislike, in them". And it irked me because it reminded me of how I'd treated certain people in my life before, in ways that I'm not proud to admit. In one of the previous chapters, Joe had a thought somewhere along the lines of "I can't control my feelings, but I can control how I treat others", and I thought 'this is great, he knows how he should move forward, good for him, he's learned his lesson.' And I hoped it would be the same for the Reader character as well, and that both of them would implement this afterward.

And then... Then this chapter happened, and yeah, maybe they weren't in a completely committed relationship with the people who were sleeping in their beds, and maybe they 'weren't doing anything illegal', and all that, but... They could still be hurting someone else's feelings. Again. Low-key I had my face in my hands like "guys please, I know y'all can't stay away from each other, and I want you guys to end up together too but likeee there's got to be a better way to do this, pleaseeee" 🛐 😭

And maybe that's the point. They're human. They make mistakes. Sometimes they learn and grow from their past mistakes, and sometimes they continue doing the same stupid thing a million times over even if they know it won't end well for them. And it was when they made those questionable choices, when they tried to pretend that their problems didn't exist, when they constantly made excuses and kept repeating the same regrettable cycle over and over – it was during of all those moments that I looked at these characters, and I saw a part of myself. Parts of myself that I didn't like, but acknowledged was there nonetheless. It was these aspects that I could personally relate to.

This is why they feel so fucking REAL to me.

I just really hope things will end well for everyone in the last chapter because mannnn 🥲🥲😭

'But he wants you to stay. It doesn’t have to be like before. Things can be different. Better.'

This part hurt me more than it should 😭😭😭😭

(I know I wrote more about my personal feelings than about the actual fic, but like I said before, I had written more about it - over a week ago - in this draft that didn't save properly, and my memory is generally not that great, sooo yeah. I at least know that I had some thoughts about Emily's response to the whole situation and stuff but I can't recall anything specific I'd written rn. I want to reread this chapter at some point to see if it re-sparks any of those thoughts I had last time but... we'll see lol.)

Anywayssss I can't believe there is just ONE more chapter left to this series omggggg this fic has been an experience for sure

(I'm gonna need to lie down again aren't I 🥲🙃)

Almost, Always

♥ ♥          Joseph Quinn x Fem!Reader 

Summary: Happy endings aren't for everyone, so it seems, but that doesn't mean that you can't stop trying for one. Question is, are you actually star-crossed lovers that can figure something out, or just absolutely blind to reality and really fucking stupid?

CW / disclaimer: rpf, fem!reader, language, adult themes, smut, cheating

Author’s note: -

Wordcount: 6.5K

part one - part two - part three - part four - part five

“I didn’t say he doesn’t… I just said, he has never actually said it.”

Emily’s jaw dropped, and you immediately regretted saying what you just said.

“No, stop. He has said it. Forget I said anything. It’s fine.”

You knew exactly what she was going to say.

She’d alluded to it from the start. Rolled her eyes at him. Made faces of outrageous confusion that told you, how can someone behave like that, without having to say the words aloud. Without making you hear them.

“I’m just saying…” Emily started, and showed you a facial expression that made you feel stupid for even bringing it up.

“It’d be better for you to leave him.”

You laughed, like she made a joke, yet so aware that she absolutely wasn’t.

But listen, if you didn’t laugh, you’d cry, because you knew, you knew somewhere in the back of your mind that it probably was better for you to leave him.

Not a truth you wanted to face though.

There were still too many easy excuses for you to make.

So... you made them.

But Emily’s face remained quite serious.

“Emily. You don’t mean that.” You said on the back-end of a giggle.

“Are you joking? My God, it’d be so much better if you left him. Better for you, better for, well, me. Can’t even tell you he loves you? What is he on?!”

You shushed her, and looked over your shoulder in the general direction of your bathroom and listened for a few seconds. The shower was still going. He couldn’t have heard her.

Good.

Not that Emily’s general opinion was a huge secret. But still. It was nice if the peace could be kept for the night.

“He does tell me that.” you argued, much softer. “Just...”

“Just does it when he’s about to hang up the phone? Just a quick, casual, love ya, when he’s saying goodbye?”

“Well, he–”

“Or does he only say it when he’s about to come?”

“Emily.”

“Oh, God. You’re so beyond help, I don’t even know what to tell you anymore.”

For a moment, you avoided eye-contact. Pressed your lips together and looked around the room whilst your friend tried her best to get it into your head that Joe really just wasn’t it.

“You know you’re in second place.” Emily said, suddenly much more earnestly. “You don’t deserve to be in second place.”

Which was a nice sentiment. A thing a best friend was meant to tell you. A bit like a parent calling their baby a genius because they accidentally made a bit of babbling sound like a real string of words.

“Well,” you said, taking a deep breath in and giving Emily your best smile. “So is he, so I guess we’re even.”

He wasn’t.

These were two different leagues.

But suggesting that Emily was in first place with you was the quickest way to make her feel appreciated even though her advice went untaken.

It always did.

Emily was a good friend and always gave excellent advice. And you were a good friend because you always listened to what she had to say. Or, you thought you did. Would tell yourself you did.

But then you simply wouldn’t follow any of it.

You hadn’t taken her advice when she’d told you to stop fucking around in a fourteen month situationship.

“I like how this just… works, don’t you?” Joe had said one evening when you were wrapped up on his sofa together. You’d made a comment that someone had flirted with you and had asked if you were single. You hadn’t known what to tell them.

Joe had just shrugged then.

“Let’s not push for something if it doesn’t need it. Something not broken doesn’t need a fix, does it?”

And you’d disagreed then. Had hoped that he’d grow a little protective and would’ve gone, um what do you mean of course you’re not single. For a while you also hadn’t wanted to define anything, because fuck commitment, right? But it had been over a year and Emily said that you should ask him to just fucking label it already.

You hadn’t.

You also hadn’t taken Emily’s advice when she’d told you that she thought this guy wasn’t going to make you happy.

Hadn’t taken Emily’s advice when she’d told you that she thought this guy was ultimately just there for a bit of fun, but not really much else.

Hadn’t taken Emily’s advice when she’d told you to just leave him already when you told her he had never sincerely told you that he loves you.

“I know you’re smart enough to know that it’s absolutely wild that he’s not said–”  

“It’s because you just hear all the bad things, I’m sorry. I should also tell you about the good shit.”

“Oh, yea? Like what?” Emily challenged, and in the silence that followed, you heard the shower turn off.

“Like... look! Look what he got me!” you said, picking up a bag from a dining table chair.

Your friend looked at it for a moment, blank faced, and then narrowed her eyes in suspicion.

“Got you? Like, he went out and bought that for you? Or, was that sent to him by the brand, and he just passed it on?”

You looked at the bag you were still holding, then gave a small shrug. “I don’t know. He still gave it to me.”

It was a nice bag.

“Not exactly the same is it.”

No, it wasn’t. But... you know. You could pretend it was.

“Still counts.”

“Okay. If you think so.”

You didn’t think so, not after what Emily had just said, but you were willing to accept it for the nice gesture, and that was all you cared about. Or, what you told yourself was all you cared about.

“I think so.” You definitively told Emily, breaking into a smile to really sell it.

Just when she was about to roll her eyes at you and maybe try her hand at talking a little more sense into you, Joe called you from the bathroom.

You left Emily on her own for about a minute before joining her again.

“Okay. Let’s go. He’s not coming.” You grabbed your coat and found your bag. The one Joe had given to you, but hadn’t spent a penny on.

“He’s– what?”

“He thought of something that still needs doing. He’s not coming.”

Emily stared at you from where she was sat, watching you hurriedly wrestle your arms into the sleeves of your coat as she slowly caught up to speed.

“So, I’m sorry, but have we just waited for him for ages for fucking nothing then?”

You ignored her tone, finding your phone, your keys, and then Emily’s coat as well.

“Let’s go. If we hurry, we might beat the rain.”

You chucked Emily her coat, and she almost didn’t move her arms in time to catch it. With the front door already open, you gestured for Emily to make her way through, calling, “Bye! We’re off!” into the flat.

Emily, under her breath, very mockingly sing-songed, “Love you!” in that same tone as she walked past you, making her point once more.

You didn’t repeat her, but instead rolled your eyes at what you decided was a joke, and then loudly said, “Don’t wait up!”

You didn’t wait for Joe to answer before you slammed the door shut.

It’s been weeks.

Months, technically, although it doesn’t feel it.

“Please be home, please be home, please be home,” you mutter to yourself as you rush your way down his street. “Please be in the fucking country, for just this fucking once…”

You’d texted and had gotten no coloured ticks from him. So then you’d called, but it just rang for ages before you were eventually sent to voicemail, and that’s something you don’t do. Especially not now. Not about this. Hell would have to freeze over before you’d leave a voicemail message. You could delete a text thread, or a voice note. But, a voicemail? Once a voicemail sends out, there is no undoing that.

Maybe you’re crazy, but what you’re doing now feels safer.

It’s after midnight, dark, the streets wet from earlier rainfall, but you feel wide awake. You’ve got Emily’s words ringing in your ears still, and you’ve not been able to shake them yet.

Her advice.

Or, well, it was more just her opinion. She had expertly dressed it up as a fact, though, which is probably why that one sentence still held you in a vice grip.  

Telling her about how you’d had a few… moments, with Joe, since you’d broken up with him, turns out, was the wrong thing to do.

You just really wanted to tell her about the wine.

The expensive bottle you’d satisfyingly dunked into his kitchen sink.

It’s been weeks by now, but you still think about that all the time. And every time that you do, you feel pure glee spark inside of you.

You thought she’d be the same.

You thought she’d absolutely love it.

But then, after you had told her all about that night, she’d just looked at you with so much disdain and disappointment, it startled you into rambling excuses, none of which sounded true to your own ears, let alone hers. She then had shook her head, and sort of muttered something to herself that you asked her to repeat.

It’s those words that haven’t left the forefront of your mind since.

You didn’t ask Emily to clarify herself. You hadn’t gotten into an argument, either. You had just… moved onto a different topic. A lighter, easier to digest thing to talk about.

It left those words to rein freely, left those words at liberty to inflate themselves until they were all you could think about, and the feeling had clawed at your chest for the rest of the day. The rest of the night.

You hadn’t been able to answer the question, what’s wrong, that you were repeatedly asked until it made you upset.

“Nothing’s wrong! Stop asking me what’s wrong! God! You asking me what’s wrong a million times a minute is what’s wrong!”

Something is wrong though.

Obviously.

You just left someone in your bed for this.

Ringing Joe’s doorbell is a quick action, fingers pressing that familiar button before you can have any doubt of what you’re doing. It takes longer than a few seconds before you hear a small beep.

“Joe? I texted you, can you reply to my text?”

A silence follows, and for a moment you think maybe the intercom doesn’t work properly, or maybe he just hadn’t heard you.

“I– I sent you a message, check your phone–”

A loud click of the door unlocking and a loud shrill buzzing sound interrupts you.

“No you don’t have to– just text me back, will you?”

No answer follows, but the loud buzzing persists. After a few more seconds of it, you know Joe’s just holding down the button until you go inside.

That wasn’t the plan. 

With a frustrated grumbling sigh, swearing under your breath, you push yourself into Joe’s building and make your way to his front door.

In the lift you decide you won’t let the doors close properly when they’ll open on Joe’s floor. You’ll tell him from half inside the lift that he just needs to check his phone.

You just want an answer.

But then the lift doors open and one foot steps out as you lean into the hallway, expecting to see Joe waiting by his front door, yet he isn’t.

You make an angry face, nose pulling up and showing your clenched teeth with a frown. You’re in a building where people are asleep so you can’t make any noise, but you absolutely would have otherwise. Joe leaves you no other choice but to get out of the lift, and begrudgingly, you make your way over to his doormat.

When you get closer, you can see how the door’s been left open.

“Hey,” you whisper-yell into the flat, “Joe?”

You get no answer, and take a few careful steps inside to find him standing in his kitchen in a T-shirt and a pair of boxer-briefs. He’s got his back turned to you, and is seemingly busy cleaning up mess he’s left out from dinner.

It’s the fucking middle of the night.

It’s dark in Joe’s flat, the only light in the room coming from his under cabinet LEDs, and it’s weirdly warm for the time of night, you think.

“Hey, I–” you start, voice low because it’s late, but you quickly get cut off by Joe.

“Did you close the door?”

You blink a few times and watch Joe very carefully load some things into his dishwasher, making little to no noise at all. No plates softly clashing, no rattling cutlery.

“What? No. I–”

“Will you close the door, please?” Joe asks, but it sounds like a demand. Sort of cold, a little detached.

“All I’m here to say,” you try again. “Is that I want you to check your phone...”

Joe stands up straight and finally looks at you. Whilst maintaining eye-contact he slowly closes the dishwasher until it latches, machine clicking shut, and when he then just... keeps staring at you, you throw your head back like an annoyed teenager, and reluctantly do as you’re told.

You go to close his front door.

In the kitchen you hear the tap go, and when you join Joe there again, you can see how he’s filling up a glass with water.

Joe is about to take a sip when he suddenly decides against it and lowers the glass.

“Water?” he then asks, and holds it out to you with a stretched arm.

You’re slightly confused, but you take it, and then watch Joe reach for another glass from a cabinet and fill that one for himself.

“Thanks, but…” you place the glass on his counter and hold two hands up to Joe. “I’m just here because I need an answer to a text.”

Joe, with his mouth in his own glass, sort of looks at you a moment as he gulps water down.

He looks tired.

Which, yea, that checks out.

You fucking woke him up, didn’t you?

There’s so many reasons to declare yourself clinically insane right now, but you’re holding onto the notion that this is actually all totally normal with all of your might. If you pretend to believe it, you might just be able to trick Joe into it as well.

But Joe just looks at you like he’s waiting for you to give the real reason of why you’re there.

“So, if you could just, check that. Answer it. That’d be great.” You force a polite smile and step back. “That’ll be all.” And you turn to leave again.

“You’ve been crying.” Joe stops you in your tracks.

You turn back to him.

“No. Well, yea I was, but that’s not– I’m fine, that was about something else, not this. You don’t have to– stop, I’m going to go, please... respond to my message. I’ll read it when I get in, and that’ll be that.”

“Wait.”

Joe picks up the glass of water you’ve just put down and gives it back to you. When it’s in your hands, he even gives it a little push upward to ensure that you have a sip.

“I’ll go get my phone.”

And he’s so calm and agreeable that it feels rude to do anything else but take a sip and wait for him. You watch Joe walk out of the room to go get his phone, and it’s a lot of opening and closing doors, everything done as quietly as humanly possible. Then, you suddenly notice how hot you feel in your coat. It’s really fucking warm in here.

That’s new.

That’s... weird.

When Joe comes back, he closes the door behind him again and looks at his phone as he unlocks it.

“Why did you call me?”

“Just–”

“I’ll read the text.”

In silence, you stand and watch Joe open his texts and read your message. Messages. There’s several. Then, he starts typing back, and, this is what you came here for, but now that you’re standing in Joe’s kitchen in the middle of the night, having pulled him out of bed for this, you almost want to tell him he’s being an idiot. He can just as easily answer your question in person.

His message sends, and your phone buzzes in your pocket.

Joe places his down and gives you a tired stare.

“Yea, okay. Th-thanks.”

“Read it.”

It startles you.

“No, that’s…” You’re so stupid. “I’m sorry. I’ll leave. I shouldn’t have come.”

“Read your message.”

You feel like a fucking child that’s being scolded by a parent.

Guilt.

Regret.

Self-inflicted, which makes all of it so much worse.

Every feeling sits dark and sticky and bitterly uncomfortable in your gut, clinging to all the edges, stretching longer until the shadows overtake all of the previous excuses you had for being here.

You shouldn’t have come.

You shouldn’t have gone to wake up Joe over something so insignificant and, well, dumb. It’s embarrassing, and you want to leave.

“You’re here now. I’m up. Read your message.”

You inhale deeply. Hold it there for a moment.

He’s right.

The damage has been done.

You’ve dipped a toe into this strange pond, and now you might as well canon ball yourself right into this uncomfortable mess, no matter how cold the water might be.

The only way out seems through.

You pull your phone from your pocket with a clammy hand, and fucking damn it, you’re sweating underneath all of your layers.

“I didn’t mean to… I shouldn’t have woken you up.”

Joe just lets his eyes drop to your phone before he looks right at you again, his very stance issuing the orders.

Read the fucking text.

You see the notification and open your phone with face ID. Your own messages to Joe catch your attention first, before you see his reply.

“Were we as good as we’re going to get?”

“What we were together”

“Was that really as good as it can get?”

“Ever?”

You didn’t have to send the same question in various different ways, but that’s what had happened.

Emily’s reaction to the stand alone get-togethers you’d participated in with Joe hadn’t been what you’d expected. You’d hoped for a level of girl power encouragement. For a loud get it girl, or a, yea babe get what you want.

Instead, you’d gotten a sigh and shake of her head, followed by a soberly mumbled, “You really do deserve each other…” that you’d asked her to repeat.

Before she’d always said that Joe didn’t deserve you. That was always the point she tried to get across. The idea she tried to sear into your brain. Joe was beneath you, and you were far above. Always.

And then suddenly, now you are no longer too good for him?

Suddenly you’re on equal footing, and you deserve each other.

What the fuck.

You look at your own messages and realise in that very second that you have no idea what kind of answer you are after from Joe. This isn’t a coin toss situation where you know what side you want that coin to land on the moment it get’s thrown into the air. Fear strikes you lightning fast. No matter what Joe is going to tell you, it’s going to be wrong.

What the fuck are you doing at Joe’s flat?

And why is it so fucking hot in here?

The only way out is through.

You read Joe’s text.

“Darling it’s late, let’s not do this over text”

A non-answer.

You look up at Joe, who is now leaning against his kitchen counter, legs crossed at the ankles, arms crossed over his chest. His head tilts to the side a little and neither of you speak.

It’s oddly unexpected that the guy in his underwear exudes more confidence than the girl bundled up in heavy layers of clothing.

You frown and read the message again.

For a second you debate what to do next. What to say. If this is going to be the end of this interaction, or if it’s going to be just the beginning.

It’s late, though.

You inhale deeply. Slowly.

Then, resign.

“Okay.”

Because honestly, what were you really even expecting from him?

Your soft little defeated okay isn’t what Joe expected though, you can see it in the minor change on his face. The eyebrows that quirk up slightly, his jaw that loosens, the eyes that round out...

“I’ll um...” you say softly, letting your phone sink back into a pocket before pulling at your sleeves to let them cover both hands.

Joe steps forward and bends to look at the clock on the oven behind him before he says, “Well. Since you’re here. Might as well.”

He gestures an arm at his dining table. At one of his chairs. It’s hard, but you do your best to ignore the memories of the last time you were there, sat in one of these chairs. Well, technically, you hadn’t sat in one of the chairs... Joe had sat on one of the chairs and you–

“Am I going to get an explanation of what’s going on?” Joe asks as he pulls out a chair for you.

Finally, you remove your coat.

“It’s a long story.” You say, then think for a moment and add, “No it’s not, actually. Emily said–”

“Ah. Emily.” Joe sits down in a chair opposite. “How is Emily doing?”

“Shut up. She’s fine.” You exclaim, voice a little raised in defense, and you’re immediately shushed by Joe. He holds up a hand as he perks up, and you get the message, lowering your tone as you add, “This isn’t about her.”

“It’s not?”

“No. She just said something. I…” you trail off for a second.

Your head’s a scrambled mess of doubt and insecurities and it doesn’t help that all you’ve done in the past few hours is overthink every single thought that’s popped into your brain. It’s a bit of a journey to retrace your steps and go back to the start of all of this.

“We were talking, and suddenly she... she said something and I’m just… I wanted to know if you think that… if you think what I texted you is true.”

“You just… wanted to know… if I think…” Joe narrows his eyes up at the ceiling as he thinks, slowly repeating your words.

It’s condescending.

Patronising.

Joe’s making fun of you.

“All right, be fucking honest or–”

“No, no. I’m sorry. Sorry. It’s nearly two in the fucking morning,” two already big eyes comically enlargen, but don’t make you laugh. Wrong audience. “But, yea, you’re right. Honest. I’ll be honest.”

You take a deep breath in preparation of what he’s about to say.

Were we as good as we’re going to get?

“Imposing question, though.”

Yea, you’re aware. It’s why you hadn’t been able to sleep and had eventually decided to just get up and out of bed, leave the boy you had in there on his own, and make your way over to Joe’s.

“I don’t know.”

Wild how you feel about five inches tall whilst simultaneously feeling like you’re taking up too much space in the room.

“You don’t know.”

Typical.

“Well. No, I… was it as good, wait, what was it?” Joe looks past you and sees that he’s left his phone on the counter. “Was it as good as it could be?”

You exhale through flared nostrils, frustration forcing your eyes shut for a moment.

“Were we as good as it’s ever going to get for us?”

“Were we as good as it’s ever going to get... I mean, I think so? I– But–... you tell me. Were we?”

And Joe’s right. It is late. You have spent hours thinking that question over, and you couldn’t answer it when you weren’t as tired as you are now, so it’s useless to even try at this hour.

You shrug, and for a moment, it’s quiet. You don’t know how to go about leaving now. You came here for something you aren’t going to get and so, fucking now what?

“Why um... why have you been crying?”

“Oh, I...” your fingers find your sleeve to rub. “I was asked why I couldn’t sleep, and I... well, I couldn’t really explain, so...”

Joe frowns in confusion, not understanding.

“I don’t know, you try listening to someone say shit like, if you don’t tell me what’s wrong I can’t help you, fifty times in a row, and try not to fucking snap.”

They’d been tears of angry frustration, mostly with yourself, and they’d actually surprised you. You hadn’t expected to cry, but, you felt hurt by words your best friend said to you, so you guess that does add up, actually.

Something slowly dawns on Joe before he then leans back in his chair and nods, scrunching his nose, and he whispers, “Jasper.”

“Jasper.” you confirm, and it makes you chuckle a little before a yawn breaks it up.

Joe watches you. Lets his eyes take you in. It’s the middle of the night and you’re very clearly going through something, but he hasn’t got the answers to the questions you’re asking him, and he hates it.

Wishes he could help.

Wishes the questions you wanted answers to weren’t so impossible.

Joe watches you yawn. Watches your eyes blink slowly as you stare into space for a moment. It’s so quiet, he can hear his clock tick on the other side of the room. Then suddenly, you smile.

“I told Emily about the wine... about how I was a complete bitch and poured that bottle right down your drain.”

And Joe can’t help but feel more amused at your smile than feel annoyed about his expensive wine being wasted. He won’t let his face show it though.

“Bet she enjoyed that.”

“Yea I thought she would, but... she just... she said that we deserve each other. Whatever that means.”

Joe watches your fingers rub along your sleeves. Knows what that means.

“That’s not true.” he suddenly says, voice low and sincere.

“Oh, right,” you huff a laugh and half-heartedly joke, “I don’t deserve you, of course.”

Joe doesn’t laugh.

“No, I mean... well, yes. Technically.” Before he continues, Joe shakes his head in an attempt get his thoughts in order. It’s late. “But not in the way you just said it. In that... you probably deserve better.”

“Probably?”

“Yea. And so do I. Probably.”

Hmm.

You silently mill that over for a second. Aren’t sure what to make of it. If there’s even anything to agree or disagree with there.

“But, who’s to say. All we know is that we weren’t the best before.”

Joe stresses that last word and then lets the words float in the air for you to draw your own conclusions from. It’s certainly true that you weren’t the best together - hence the break up that eventually happened. But Joe’s expertly sharing the blame, which is not a fun truth to face.

The before saves it, a little.

The before makes it sounds like Joe’s talking about two people who no longer exist. Like, those people are gone. That door is closed. And look at you now. You’re a whole new set of two different people. It’s a different world, and you’ve changed. Grown. Learnt.

Who knows what you’d be like now.

Joe can’t predict the future.

And neither can you.

“Hmm.” you hum, eyes trained on the surface of the table, body flushed with conflicting feelings you don’t know how to put into words. Instead of stumbling through words until you find ones that make sense, you remain silent and pull at your sleeves so there’s more fabric for your fingers to run across.

“Hey,” Joe leans forward a little and catches your attention. “Are you okay? Do I need to be worried about you?”

You smile and let it take over your whole face as you shake your head no before you bring your hand up to cover another yawn.

“No. But I should go. This was never meant to be– she just… I don’t know, Emily got into my head and I didn’t know how to get her out.”

Joe contemplates in silence. Wonders if he’s okay with the idea of you walking out and going home right now, in this state. It’s almost three o’clock.

“I don’t make the best decisions after midnight. Sorry.”

You push your chair back and get up on your feet, the plan being to give Joe a quick polite hug goodbye before you make your way back to his front door.

You’re tired, but you know the second you step outside into the cold air that will make your lungs feel sore, you’ll wake up enough to make your way home without any problems.

But then Joe decides you can’t just go.

You can’t just leave.

He’s stuck.

You’re stuck.

You’re stuck in it, together, in this muddy sludge of whatever the two of you have become now. One of you is going to have to step out of their shoes and escape, and Joe thinks it should be you, because you’ve escaped this quicksand of a relationship before. You know how to get out.

It’s weird that you willingly came back.

Keep coming back.

And it’s awful that Joe just keeps inviting you in. Welcomes you with open arms every single time.

But he wants you to stay. It doesn’t have to be like before. Things can be different. Better.

He decides he’s not just going to let you leave, so when he stands up and you go in for a hug, he takes hold of you by your upper arms and starts moving you towards his sofa.

Says, “Come sit for a second.”

And no resistance comes from you. Joe thinks it must be because you’re tired. You’ve cried and you’ve worried and you’ve let all of it eat away at you until you decided to reach out to him, and now, he wants you to stay. He’s not a fan of how, from a certain angle, it looks like he’s taking advantage of the situation, but... you’re both adults.

He’s not doing anything illegal.

Well.

There’s a girl in his bed.

It’s why the flat is warm and why all the doors are closed. Joe shouldn’t have let you inside. Shouldn’t have made you come in and shouldn’t have made you close the door behind you. Shouldn’t have given you a glass of water and shouldn’t have sat you down.

He doesn’t want you to leave now.

There’s a girl in his bed.

And you’ve got a Jasper in yours.

Joe’s closeness to you will come at a price, he’s aware. But it’s one he’s willing to pay. One he’s got the cash for, no problem. Name the sum and he’ll double it.

He’s got you by the arms and is walking you over to his sofa. You are stopped just before you’re about to step onto the area rug.

“Shoes off,” he says, like he gives a shit. You know he doesn’t, but listen to him anyway, and know that taking your shoes off means you’re not going anywhere. At least not for a while.

You get turned around and get sat down, and immediately, you feel far too comfortable. The seat’s too soft. The cushion’s too fluffy. Memories of the hours spent snuggled up on this sofa shoot into the forefront of your mind and you want to warn Joe that it’s not going to take much for you to fall asleep.

But before you can, he pulls a throw blanket from the other side and hands it to you, and you realise that getting comfy and cosy is actually the goal here.

There’s a guy in your bed, who you’ve just… left. Didn’t tell him anything. Just got out, got dressed and left.

You take the blanket from Joe.

It’s probably a good idea to at least let him know something. Send him a text. Let him know you’re okay. But that little voice of reason in your head gets drowned out when Joe sits down next to you and helps sort out the blanket so it covers you both.

“Sit for a second?” you ask through a soft half-suppressed laugh as Joe settles in beside you, your thighs touch underneath the throw. “Am I staying the night?”

“I don’t know, I don’t control what you do. I just want to sit for a second.”

Joe stretches an arm behind you that you think he’s going to rest on top of the sofa, but it moves your head forward a little as it grabs hold of your bicep to pull you in a bit more.

“Joe...” you warn, but it sounds lighthearted and sleepy.

“What?” Joe acts all innocent, but you can hear his amusement when he adds, “Just for a second.”

Joe is still shuffling in his spot, using his other hand to sort the cushion behind him, then pulling the blanket and tucking it under his leg, followed by him using his chin to fix the bit of flipped cotton of his T-shirt sleeve – it’s a lot of faffing for someone who wants to sit for just a second.

He’s nearly done, a centering sigh half way out of him when, suddenly, you feel how he pipes up a little and see how he looks across the room. His phone’s still on the counter, and for a second, Joe debates getting up to go and get it.

You determine on his behalf that he doesn’t need his phone by draping your arm across his stomach and snuggling up.

It’s warm in Joe’s flat.

And this little nest is perfect.

“Fine.” you mutter softly. “Jus’ for a second.”

Joe pauses for a moment as he looks down at how you let your nose brush his arm, your eyes already closed, and he grins as he sinks back down into his sofa.

You don’t make the best decisions after midnight.

Neither does Joe.

Maybe you do deserve each other. Maybe you don’t.

But you deserve this, you think. And you mean that in the best way possible. You deserve to be comfortable, and cosy, and toasty warm in a dimly lit room with a man who smells really nice.

You deserve to cuddle up next to someone who truly values your presence and genuinely just wants you to be there with them for a little while.

You deserve the soft tickling fingertips that delicately dance across your hairline, lingering there for far longer than ‘just a second’.

You deserve the barely whispered, super soft “Love you.” spoken so tenderly and punctuated with a gentle kiss pressed to the top of your head, it makes you tighten your arms around him.

You fall asleep in the soft glow of the under cabinet LEDs with the knowledge that the next morning is bound to be awkward. But this is still infinitely nicer than trying to fall asleep with Emily’s words on your mind. It’s difficult to think about impossible-to-answer questions when you’re wrapped up in strong warm arms that want you there, so you allow yourself to sink and to drift until dreams fully take you.  

A loud bang of a door slamming shut wakes the both of you with a violent jolt.

Two pairs of tired bleary eyes look around the room, and there’s a fleeting moment of confusion. Your mind scrambles to piece together where you are and what just happened, but all your mind can focus on is how dry and heavy your eyes feel as you blink to adjust to your surroundings.

“Oh, fuck,” Joe croaks, groaning as he goes to sit up. He looks over his shoulder, then rubs a heavy hand across his face before he goes, “Yea…”

You feel disoriented and frazzled, and move to sit up just enough to look over the back of the sofa with squinty eyes to see what Joe is even looking at.

All you see is an open door to the hallway that leads to his bedroom.

“What was that?” you ask, thinking maybe something dropped or knocked over somehow. When Joe gets up and walks over to his bedroom to check, you think that’s it. Something fell because gravity finally got a hold of whatever Joe had been precariously balancing on a bookshelf.

But then you hear Joe audibly sigh and dejectedly go, “Yea, she won’t be coming back.”

That takes minute to land.

It’s too early for your brain to comprehend what just happened, but slowly, puzzle pieces click together.

Oh.

Oh, that’s fucking detestable, isn’t it?

When Joe walks back out, he’s wearing joggers and is holding a ball of socks, and you hope there’s a different explanation than the correct one you just concocted. He looks at you for a moment, and you can tell by the look on his face that he feels awful.

Right.

Emily can fuck off.

You don’t deserve each other.

You deserve better than this.

Okay, so, yea, admittedly, you aren’t really one to talk, seeing the personal choices you have made over the past eight hours. But the choices Joe has made in that same span of time are just as bad, if not worse.

You decide to give into the feeling of wanting to lay back down rather than to face whatever this morning has on offer for you. You disappear from Joe’s sight, and cover all of your face with your hands that press and pull at your skin.

This is such a mess.

“Emily can fuck off.” You mutter into your own palms, hoping Joe can translate that and connect the dots of your disdain for him in this very moment.

You should leave.

Should check your phone for any messages or missed calls, and you should leave.

Never come back.

Learn your fucking lesson already and never set foot into this flat ever again.

But then Joe leans over the back of the sofa, and with knitted eyebrows that show off every single line on his forehead, he softly asks, “Do you want a coffee?”

You drop your hands.

Look up at him. The kind face. His short hair sleep messy. Jaw line. His mouth.

You should leave.

“Um…”

Oh... oh no.

“Yea…”

Fuck.

So close.

“Yea?”

You almost had it.

“Yea. I could use a coffee.”

Almost.

---

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[drewizz]

THIRD TIME - 04. ardor

pairing ☆ rafe cameron x reader

WARNINGS: unresolved sexual tension (if that even counts....)

WORD COUNT: 2K

TAGLIST: open! comment or send in an ask

series masterlist. previous next

ardor. (noun) great warmth of feeling; passion or burning heat

The rain had been pouring relentlessly, soaking both of you to the bone. You shoved open the door to your house, only for water to be dripping from the clothes of both of you onto the hardwood floor. 

Subconsciously you’d forgotten that you invited the Rafe Cameron over to your house. And now here he was, standing in your foyer, his presence quite intrusive as ever.

“You can’t just stand there dripping all over the place,” you said while shrugging off your (his) soaked jacket. “Great, now my floor’s going to be messed up.”

“Your floor?” Rafe raised an eyebrow at you, snickering. “Seems like you got your priorities straight. Thanks for such a warm welcome.”

You ignored him, heading towards your bathroom. The fabric of your dress clung stubbornly to your legs, making it quite uncomfortable to walk around in. You felt his gaze on your back, and it took everything in you to not turn around and snap at him.

“Stay there,” you called over your shoulder. “You’re already making a mess.”

“I’m soaked,” he countered, his voice tinged with amusement. “Standing still isn’t going to fix that.”

You reappeared with a pair of towels, tossing one at him without much thought. He caught it with a quick flick of his wrist, shaking his head as he worked to wring the water out of his hair. You tried not to stare at the way his shirt clung to him, the damp shirt outlining the muscles of his chest and shoulders.

“Thanks,” he said, his voice low enough that it sent a shiver down your spine. You told yourself that it was because of the cold.

“Don’t worry about it,” you said tightly, wrapping your own towel around your body. “Bathroom’s down the hall if you want to dry off properly.”

“And leave you here all alone?” He raised an eyebrow, his smirk deepening. “What kind of guest would I be?”

You rolled your eyes, but felt the heat rising in your cheeks. “Suit yourself. Just don’t get my couch all wet.”

Rafe didn’t respond immediately, his gaze lingering on you longer than you were comfortable with. “You’re shaking,” he said finally, his tone softer than you expected.

“Well, it’s freezing and I’m wearing a dress,” you remarked, pulling the towel tighter around yourself. “What did you expect?”

He stepped closer, his movements painfully slow, his presence filling the small space between you two. “I wasn’t planning on getting caught in a storm today, if that’s what you’re asking. Much less with you.”

“Neither was I. And it wasn’t,” you said, refusing to back away even as your pulse quickened.

For a moment, neither of you two spoke. The silence felt louder than the rain pounding against the windows. His eyes searched yours, his usual smirk fading into something more serious, more intense.

“You should change,” he said, his voice barely above a murmur.

“You also need to change,” you countered, your voice surprisingly steadier than how you felt.

His gaze flicked down, just for a moment, to where the strap of your dress had slipped off your shoulder. He reached out instinctively, his fingers brushing your skin as he pushed it back into place. The contact sent a jolt through you, and you froze, your breath catching in your throat. You didn't even notice yourself.

“Sorry,” he murmured, though his tone lacked any real apologetic intentions. His hand lingered for a bit before he pulled away.

“It’s fine,” you said quickly, stepping back to create a sudden, but much-needed space. The tension in the room was undeniable and didn't dissipate; if anything, it thickened.

“Wait, I’ll grab you something dry,” you said abruptly, turning toward your bedroom. You could feel his eyes on you as you walked away. It only caused your heart to start hammering in your chest. You had to keep your mind straight. Get a fucking grip of yourself Y/N. 

When you returned, you saw Rafe standing by the window, looking out at the storm. However, his shirt happened to be long gone from his body and draped over the back of the couch. You nearly dropped the extra clothes in your hands.

“Seriously?” you blurted out before you could stop yourself. 

He turned, raising an eyebrow. “What?”

“You couldn’t wait to take your shirt off until I gave you the clothes?” you asked, your voice higher than usual.

He shrugged, unbothered. “Didn’t think you’d mind. Do you?” He threw a playful grin at you.

“Well, I do mind,” you snapped, practically throwing the clothes at him. “Here. Wear these.”

He took them, a faint smirk playing at his lips. “Thanks. But I’m pretty sure your stuff doesn’t fit me.”

“It’s pretty ginormous on me already,” you said, crossing your arms over your chest. “So unless you’re secretly an extremely buff man, you’ll fit into it.”

Rafe chuckled, shaking his head. “Fair enough. I’ll change in the bathroom.”

He disappeared into the bathroom, and you let out a breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding. The heat in your cheeks was very apparent and impossible to ignore. You busied yourself tidying up the soaked towels and changed into dry clothes in your bedroom.

Rafe came out dressed in an old sweatshirt and a pair of sweatpants that somehow still looked good on him. Shit. You found yourself secretly wishing you’d given him something uglier.

“Better?” he asked, leaning casually against the doorframe.

“If you think so,” you replied in a monotone voice, refusing to meet his gaze.

He grinned, but for once, he didn’t press you. Instead, he walked over to the couch and dropped onto it with a sigh, running a hand through his still-damp hair.

“So,” he said after a moment, “what do people do for fun around here when they’re not getting caught in storms?”

“Are you seriously trying to make small talk right now?” you asked, incredulous.

“What else are we going to do? Do you seriously just want to sit here in silence?” he countered, gesturing toward the rain still pouring outside.

There were absolutely no signs that the storm would stop, and the thought of sitting in silence with him was somehow worse.

“Fine,” you sighed, sitting down on the opposite end of the couch. “What do you want to talk about?”

He studied you for a moment, his expression unreadable. “Why do you hate me?”

The question caught you off guard, and you blinked at him, unsure how to respond. “I don’t hate you,” you said softly.

“Something people always tell me when they first meet me,” he said, his tone light but his eyes serious.

You sighed, leaning back against the cushions. “Rafe, I don’t hate you. I just think you’re too used to getting things your way. And you don’t seem to care about people you might hurt during the process..”

He tilted his head, considering your words. “And that bothers you? Because?”

“Yeah,” you said bluntly. “Because people like you never seem to face any consequences.”

He nodded slowly, as if your answer didn’t surprise him. “Okay, I guess. But maybe you don’t know me as well as you think you do.”

“Maybe,” you allowed. “But you haven’t exactly given me a reason to think otherwise.”

He grinned at you, stretching his arm back on the couch. “What if I said I wanted to?”

“Wanted to what?”

“Give you a reason.”

Your heart had oddly skipped a beat, but you kept your expression neutral. “I’d say actions speak louder than words.”

A small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. “I can work with that.”

Silence fell again, but this time it was somewhat both comfortable and charged. Silence became a normal thing between you two, something quite frequent, too. You didn’t trust him (for now), but for the first time, you found yourself wondering if there was more to him than the cocky, privileged persona he masked so well.

And as much as you hated to admit it, part of you wanted to find out.

Rafe cleared his throat, interrupting the silence. “Why’d you let me in your house to dry off?”

The question caught you off guard (again), and you hesitated, unsure how to answer. Because you didn’t truly know the answer either. “Because it was raining,” you shrugged. “And I’m not heartless. I wasn't going to let you sit out there at the docks during a storm.”

“That’s it?” he asked, leaning towards your side. “No other reason?”

“What other reason would there be?” you muttered.

Rafe studied you for a good moment, his expression still unreadable. “I don’t know. Maybe you’re just curious about me.”

“About you?” you scoffed. “Hardly.” Fully.

“Liar,” he said walking over to take a seat right next to you on the couch.

Your pulse betrayed you and quickened again, and you hated how easily he could get under your skin. “You’re really infuriating sometimes, you know that?”

He leaned back again, his smirk returning, but there was something different about it now – something less calculated and more genuine. “Hm. So I’ve been told.”

The room became quiet again, and only soft patter of rain against the windows could be heard. You sat stiffly on the couch, not sure what to do with your own body. However, Rafe (of course) was getting comfortably seated right next to you.

The space between you two was nearly not enough.

“Are you always this tense?” he asked, his voice low and teasing. His leg shifted, brushing just enough to send a jolt through you.

“I’m not tense,” you snapped, pulling your legs up to tightly wrap your arms around them.

He chuckled, the sound deep and mildly annoying. “You’re really jittery.”

“Maybe it’s because you’re in my personal space,” you retorted, turning to glare at him.

“Personal space?” he echoed, the corner of his mouth twitching upward. “I’m not even touching you.” He moved even closer to you (if that was even possible), reaching over your body for the gigantic blanket.

“You’re impossible,” you muttered quietly, voice barely above a whisper.

“Maybe,” he said, his tone softer now, his gaze locking with yours. “But you’re not moving.”

Your heart started pounding again, so loud you were definitely sure he could hear it. You opened your mouth to say something – quite literally anything – but the words wouldn’t form. 

He opened up the blanket to place on top of your legs and his, the motion only bringing him closer to you. So close you could feel the faint heat of his skin, the smell of rain and something distinctly him filling your senses.

“Tell me to move Y/N,” he murmured, his voice dropping into a low rasp.

You swallowed hard, your mouth suddenly extremely dry. “I don’t need to tell you anything.”

“No?” His head tilted slightly, his face just inches from hers, and the air between them felt like a live wire, buzzing and electric. “Because I’m starting to think you like this.”

“Don’t flatter yourself too much,” you barely managed, but the waver in your voice betrayed you.

His gaze dropped to your lips, lingering too long for your liking, before flicking back to your eyes. He had blue eyes. 

Everyone around you seemed to be like a white noise. As if put under anesthesia, your body seemed to turn numb. You haven’t felt like this in a long time. Desire. Yearning. The world outside melted away. 

There was only Rafe: the exasperating proximity of his body and the heavy weight of his gaze on you. 

Your fingers twitched against the blanket, every nerve in your body screaming for something you couldn’t name.

“Y/N,” he said quietly, as if whispering, your name rolling off his tongue like a secret.

Your breath caught, and for a fleeting moment, you thought you lost your mind. You started to lean in without even knowing. But then reality came crashing back – too loud and sudden. You tore your gaze away, scooting an inch away from him clearing your throat.

“I’m going to go make some food for us,” you whispered hoarsely.

For once, he didn’t push. He nodded, letting out a heavy and trembling breath out of his mouth.

Not only did the heavy tension get thicker, it was ready. For something new. It became like the storm outside, ready to break at any moment.

NOTE. sooo that developed much quicker than (i bet) many expected 😊😊😊 next chapter is definitely one that majority of ygs are waiting fooooor winkwink pls comment and tell me ur predictions or anything in general!! i love to hear the love from all of you :')

TAGS. @urbrunettebombshell @rafesfavouritegirl @sabrina-carpenter-stan-account @percysley @wtfdudesblog @fratbrochrisgf

[2amriize]

.ᐟ RIIZE scenario: coming home for holidays with them ༉‧₊˚.

req: could you do riize coming home with you for the holidays? i thought it would be cute!!

pairing: bf!riize x reader— masterlist

⭑.ᐟ shotaro

He’d be super excited to spend the holidays with your family. He hadn’t gotten to know them very well during your time together, but he loved the idea of bonding with them. Your family adored him, so much so that sometimes you felt like your dad liked him more than his own kids. Every chance he got, your dad would strike up a conversation with Shotaro. You often found the two chatting, so you’d grab him by the arm and pull him away.

"Spend time with me instead; it feels like you hang out with my dad more than with me..."

⭑.ᐟ eunseok

The moment your siblings approached Eunseok, you realized it had been a mistake to bring him home for the holidays. You had thought it would be fun to spend time together at your childhood home and with your family. But every chance they got, your siblings would start sharing embarrassing stories from your past. Eunseok, though he tried not to laugh, couldn’t help but let out a chuckle here and there. By the end of the trip, he’d know all about your past and wouldn’t hesitate to tease you about the stories your siblings had shared.

⭑.ᐟ sungchan

Sungchan got pretty nervous at the thought of spending an entire week at your house with your family. At first, it was awkward, and he didn’t quite know how to act. He was even afraid to hold your hand. But your family worked hard to include him in all the activities, as they adored him and wanted him to feel comfortable. In no time, he became like another member of the family. You couldn’t help but smile every time he excitedly ran over to tell you about a conversation he’d just had with one of your family members.

⭑.ᐟ wonbin

Oh, he’d be so nervous. Despite being kind and good-natured, Wonbin could be a bit shy and awkward around your family since he wasn’t sure how to interact with them. When you first brought up the idea of spending the holidays together, he hesitated, but seeing how much it meant to you, he eventually agreed. Knowing how nervous he was, you decided to spend time not just with your family but also exploring your hometown. You showed him all the places you loved as a child or had told him stories about. He absolutely loved the plan, and it helped him feel more at ease.

⭑.ᐟ seunghan

Seunghan couldn’t have been more thrilled when he heard your family wanted you to invite him to spend the holidays. He loved spending time with them, but what excited him even more was the idea of spending so much time with you, in the same house. He’d always heard about your family’s tradition of decorating the Christmas tree together, and it was something he was really looking forward to. Since it was his first time at your house, your family let him place the star on top of the tree, a memory he wouldn’t stop cherishing. Your entire family absolutely adored him.

⭑.ᐟ sohee

When you planned for Sohee to spend Christmas at your house, you hadn’t considered the fact that your siblings would also be there. Sohee was already nervous about spending the holidays with your family, especially since your siblings were known to be quite protective of you. Both of you expected them to be serious and strict, keeping an eye on his every move. But to your surprise, they seemed to fall for his charm almost instantly, treating him better than they treated you!

⭑.ᐟ anton

Anton felt a lot of pressure about spending so much time with your family. Even though they already knew him, he’d never actually lived with them, so he wasn’t sure how to act. You told your mom about his nerves, and she decided to have Anton help her in the kitchen to get him involved and chatting more. Anton agreed, but your mom soon realized how bad he was at cooking and ended up kicking him out of the kitchen.

"Do you think she hates me?" "Of course not, babe, she loves you..."

masterlist // taglist: @regularsuh @gacktsa @totheseok @kkumistars @taroddori @enhacolor @ladylilith @electric-hearts @astrobymarwa @layluv123 @sunflowers1610 @nctrawberries @synkjellies @ramyeonzprincess @yuzuksi

[kkayyerr]

Struggling and cuddling.

Summary: Rafe and JJ trying to tolerate each other for the little!reader‘s sake, until one evening JJ suddenly regress for the first time in front of his „enemy”.

Pairing: Daddy!Rafe x little!reader x little!JJ.

Warnings: Age regression, slight swearing.

Rafe was used to JJ always being cranky, especially after the fights with his father. No matter how much they despised each other, they had to cooperate because you seemed to love them both equally. They got used to each other’s behaviors, not enjoying the company of one another, but at least learning to be more calm while spending time together. However, JJ’s mood today was hard to tolerate. He was going off on you, being extremely rude to Rafe, cursing him off right in front of you, which he usually would never do. Rafe wasn’t scared of fighting JJ; it wouldn’t be the first time that he would deal with the Pogue. However, his feelings about the whole situation were odd. Something was wrong with the boy, but Rafe just couldn’t find out what. 

Rafe approached you while you were sitting on the carpet, coloring pictures with your favorite crayons. He hated the thoughts of you being present in the serious and stressful conversation, so he crouched down in front of you, giving you a head pat to get your attention. 

 

„Baby, can you please go and play in our bedroom for a little while?”

 

You looked at him confused. He usually would tell you that when you had misbehaved. Why would he ask you that when you didn’t do anything wrong? 

 

„Why?”

 

Rafe sighed. He didn’t know how to exactly explain this. He obviously didn’t want your precious little mind to be filled with adult problems, so he knew that he had to just make something up quickly.

 

„Me and JJ want to make a little surprise for you, okay?”

 

Your demeanor quickly changed to a happy one, and you quickly got up from the floor, taking all the crayons and coloring books with you to the room. Rafe gave you a soft smile that quickly disappeared when you had closed the door behind you. 

He turned around and approached JJ, trying to control his temper, even though he was very intimidated right now. 

 

„What the fuck is wrong with you?”

 

The words sounded more curious than angry. Rafe actually wanted to know what was happening. Not because he cared about JJ, of course not. He just wanted to make sure that his personal problems wouldn’t affect you. 

JJ didn’t answer. He didn’t seem angry or pissed like earlier; his face expression was numb. It looks like he was struggling to understand his own emotions, and Rafe knew exactly how it feels, even though he wasn’t planning on admitting it. 

 

„Can you at least try to communicate like an adult?”

 

Rafe’s tone was a bit snarky, but deep down he was starting to get worried, not knowing why exactly he even cared. JJ didn’t answer this time either. Rafe was starting to feel a little bit frustrated when he saw a familiar scene. JJ was standing there, sucking on his thumb just as you used to do whenever you would regress. Rafe’s eyes widened for a moment, but then he relaxed, knowing that at least he knew what he was dealing with right now. 

He carefully put his hand on the boy’s shoulder and sighed with relief when he didn’t push it away. 

JJ felt a strange wave of comfort washing over him as Rafe’s hand touched his shoulder. Surprisingly, his touch was soft and gentle. JJ wouldn’t admit that, but it was exactly what he needed in the moment. 

 

“You can go home if you want. I’ll tell her something.”

 

Rafe didn’t have time for another sentence. JJ quickly turned around and hugged him, probably seeking comfort from at least someone. Rafe’s eyes widened; it was not what he was expecting at all. Though he didn’t push him away. He just awkwardly petted his back, not knowing how to react. 

 

„Alright, dude. I get it, you’re a little bit clingy right now, yeah?”

 

He wasn’t planning on teasing him, but he just couldn’t hold himself back right now. Who could’ve thought that he would have two pogues who trusted him enough to regress in front of him? 

JJ pulled away, looking a bit embarrassed by his behavior that he couldn’t control. He was way too hungry for affection right now to think about their previous fights. 

 

„Can you use your big boy words and tell me what do you need?”

 

JJ shyly pointed his finger at Rafe, trying to explain his needs non-verbally. Rafe understood perfectly what he had meant, but he wanted him to do as he was told at least once. 

He raised his brows, hinting that JJ might want to actually use his vocals, if he wanted to get something.

 

„You."

 

Rafe felt weird pleasure hearing those words. It was almost funny how easy it was to make you two fall for him, even though he wasn’t planning on using it against you, at least not yet. 

He chuckled a little bit, getting closer to JJ just to ruffle his hair. The boy’s face finally brightened up. 

 

„I’ll be sure to remind you of that moment every time you  behave like an arrogant asshole.”

 

JJ pouted, and Rafe pinched his cheeks just to make him smile again. Both of them were interrupted by the sounds of your little footsteps. They immediately turned they had in your direction, both smiling softly at the sight of your confused face expression.

 

„Daddies, what happen’?”

 

Your question was almost funny, and Rafe tried his best to hide his little smirk but eventually failed. He looked at the JJ once more, admiring his blushed cheeks. 

 

„It seems like we actually have a surprise for you, little one.”

Taglist: @tinylilacbun @rafecameronsloverrrrr @aew-regression-cove

[lovebittenbyevans]

A Christmas Date | One Shot

Summary: When Gojo have you seen with him at this Christmas party this year you did not know the night between you and him can change this quickly

Pairing: bestfriend/billionaire! Gojo Satoru x Female Reader

Warnings: two cursed word

Author note: Happy December! 🎄

Main Masterlist

You were trying to stay calm and not feel nervous at all. You have never been to something like this even though it is not your thing to do.

The driver stopped the car telling you two that you are at the place. You sat back in your seat for a minute and closed your eyes. “Gojo, I can’t believe I agreed to come with you.”

He chuckled a bit. “Sunshine, you agree. Don’t start.” He knew you were about to say something trying to get yourself out of it.

You sigh and suck your teeth. “I didn’t tell you to pressure me literally.”

“Y/N.” He grabbed your hand as his gaze was on you. “My fault. I should have known better how you are in social settings.” You open your eyes and look at him. “If only snobby rich people were more humble like you.”

He laughs as he taps your chin. “Look, this will be my last time asking you to do something for me. Are you ready?” His thumb brushed against your hand.

You released a breath you had been holding. “Sure.” He smiles softly. He got out of the car and went around your side of the door to open it.

You got out of the car taking his hand. You felt him squeeze your hand before you walked inside with him ignoring all the flashing cameras. You held onto your purse in your other hand.

The venue for this party was huge and could fit almost everyone in here. You didn’t expect to see so many people including Gojo friends who were there.

He went around greeting some of the people he knew when Nanami Kento tapped you on the shoulder. You turned around and gave him a hug. “Hi Nan.”

“I’m happy you came sweetheart.” He whispers in your ear before he pulls away.

You look at him. “Well, you know Gojo loves to drag me everywhere with him.”

Nanami chuckled. “Oh stop. He loves your company, Y/N.”

You shake your head. “How is getting your own hockey team coming along?” He scoffs and takes a sip of his drink. “It’s coming along but Geto likes to play games.

“How so?” You raise an eyebrow as you take a drink from the butler.

Nanami was going to speak when somebody cut him off. “Nanami, always calling someone else bullshit out.” You both glance to see Gojo standing next to you with Toji and Geto alongside him.

You didn’t realize Gojo went to go be with his friends a little bit.

“Don’t listen to him, darling.” Toji gave you a quick hug. “Nan, is just too stubborn to pick a player already.”

You pulled away and gave Geto a hug as well. “Excuse me, Geto doesn’t like to pick any player that is good enough.” Geto pulls away as he eyes him.

You and Gojo both laughed as you watched the men have a discussion. The two of you walked away from them and began to socialize with more people you didn’t know.

‘Gojo never takes things seriously.’ Toge signed with his hands while looking at you.

Gojo spoke while signing with his hands. “Not true! I take my life serious.”

Toge shakes his head and signs. ‘Give me an example?’

Before Gojo can sign what he wanted to say he purposely pulls you close to him. He knew what Toge wanted him to say but he just can’t say it yet.

“Everything ok?” You glanced up at him.

His gaze focused on you. “Yeah, I'm fine.” You nod feeling kind of pissed that he pulled you away from a deep conversation you were having with Sukuna.

A part of you didn’t believe him but you didn’t want to press him to reveal whatever it is. Gojo looked over your shoulder and saw Toge signing again. ‘Fucking tell her already!’

Gojo sighs, taking your hand in his. “Come with me.” You had a confused look on your face as you followed him to a different place in the venue.

This venue had an empty ballroom that nobody was using just yet. You look around the venue noticing it seems empty and abandoned even though it wasn’t.

“What’s wrong?” You asked him.

Gojo stood in front of you trying to figure out how to say what he wanted to say to you. You crossed your arms over your chest waiting for him to speak.

“I know this is kind of a date but.” He trailed off. “I also didn’t bring you here as my plus one.”

You waited for him to continue. “I brought you here as my date because I have feelings for you.” He says, being honest.

You stare at him for a moment. “W–What?”

He took a step toward you. “I like you, Y/N. I have liked you for a long time since the first day we met.”

You shot him a look. “Like me?” You heard your phone ringing in your purse while still looking at him.

“Look, I wanted to tell you so many times but I–” He paused when you held your hand in his face and answered your phone. “Hello?”

“Babe, I just landed.” A male voice came through the phone.

You smile hearing his voice as you glance at Gojo. “Give me a minute.” You mouth to him before you walk out the ballroom venue. “How was your flight, Yuta?”

Gojo watched you walk out while standing there feeling sorry for himself. He wished he would have said something sooner but in the back of his mind he wished you still weren't with your boyfriend Yuta.

“Merry Christmas to me.” He muttered to himself.

[blueishspace]

Hero, Villain God 21

(Prev) (Next) (First)

Hotguydaily @/HGupdates

Hero HotGuy will no longer be fighting crime alone, in a surprise message earlier today the hero association has revealed that he has already chosen who will be his sidekick henceforth.

💬44 ❤️76K 🔄368

| Hotguydailydaily @HGupdates^2 Hotguy daily has revealed that Hotguy has chosen his sidekick. || Lmao @/Lm40xd What is this weird ass Inception going on?

|Showon @/Icansh0wyu I can't believe we got Hotguy a sidekick before GTA 6. ||Prtrtrt @/prtrtrtr6 Shut the fuck up. |||Showwon @/Icansh0wyu No <3

Sheriff ☑️ @/Canarywthagun

I can't tell you guys too much but I know Hotguy's new sidekick and I'm very excited.

💬21K ❤️8M 🔄945K

|Tdfyh @/randombullshitgo Oh come on! You can't just say that and nothing else! Not fair! ||Sheriff ☑️ @/Canarywthagun Life is not fair. |||OceanQueen ☑️ @/AnarmyofAxolotls Sheriff, do I need to take away your phone priviliges? ||||Sheriff ☑️ @/Canarywthagun Wait no, you can't do that. |||||OceanQueen ☑️ @/AnarmyofAxolotls Life isn't fair. ||||||Tdfyh @/randombullshitgo What the fuck just happened?

|Sausage☑️ @/blessedbythesaint. Are they hot? ||What. @/askingteliling23 Don't you have anything else to do????? Like being the leader of a major religion? |||Sausage☑️ @/blessedbythesaint Right! Join the church of Sanctuary today and you'll get two cookies for free. ||||What. @/askingteliling23 You can't possibly be serious...right? ...right? ||||Sausage☑️ @/blessedbythesaint Join right now and you'll get three?

Pix ☑️@ThisweekinHtopia.

This week in Hermmittopia the mayor has been kidnapped by a mysterious hacker or possibly a supervillain, he has been rescued by Hotguy but no official statements have yet been made by the authorities... (1/5)

💬29 ❤️84K 🔄320

|Showon @/Icansh0wyu Will you guys of today in Hermmittopia be at the official introduction. ||Pix ☑️@ThisweekinHtopia Of course, expect snippets of it!

*Scar's pov*

Cub has been staring at the screen for a worrying amount of time ...you kinda have to ask at this point.

"Did ...uh...did the public react well?"

...

"Yes"

"Oh. Oh! I was starting to get worried."

"It's still too early to be sure though, he hasn't even been officially introduced."

"Well... Yeah, you're right Cub."

"I always am."

A few more moments of silence before Cub is talking to you again.

"So has he chosen a name yet?"

Uh? Oh, he means Grian! Right.

"Oh yeah, he chose to go by Cuteguy"

...you hear a sigh.

"... Well, at least it fits the branding."

The official intriduction is going to be really soon so you feel you are allowed to be a little bit anxious. You get a sidekick! The first ever sidekick in Hermmittopia! Everything has to be perfect.

"Has the commission picked a date then?"

"They did"

"Uh?? When?"

"Just now really. Calm down Scar"

That's not what you wanted to know- oh he's doing it on purpose isn't he?

"How much time do we have?"

You could work with a month, better to hope for two though even if It's unlikely-

"It's next monday"

... WHAT

"That's just ten days!"

"Yep"

...

"Fuck"

End of Chapter 5

[pjmmania]

If Snow Decides to Fall

5. "No more simple."

Chapter Warnings: Heavy angst, pregnancy, explicit language, profanity, misogynistic language

Taglist (open): @marihoneywk

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*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

He looked at himself in the mirror, listening to the water running in the bathroom. He had put his robe back on and tied it more securely around his waist than normal. With a numbed expression, he studied his features, analyzing his own character.

You had dropped a bomb, and he reacted poorly. The two of you were in the middle of a break in what had evolved into an argument. Things got overheated, unexpectedly so. You decided it would be best to pause for a little bit, take a shower, and come back in a calmer state - but this had to be discussed tonight.

Jimin's own face confused him. He hadn't done so much as utter Seoyeon's name in a long time. He was befuddled by how much hurt was apparently still inside him, as he was upset that somehow she'd come back to haunt him, driving a wrench between himself and the woman he adored more. In flashes, he saw all the signs she left while they were together, everything that should have told him what she was all about. The insatiable desire of hers to be known as his, more than happy to suck his wallet dry.

He saw their dates at those expensive restaurants, remembering how he snuck payment to the owners to keep them quiet. He remembered having to pay a nosy photographer off handsomely so that he wouldn't sell photos of them together, and her furious face when she learned he'd done so.

He had already agreed to take your relationship public someday when it became necessary, but so much of that had to do with the baby. Now, to hear you sound so jealous of the things he'd done with Seoyeon, a red alarm was blaring.

When your shower was complete, he was in the living room, sitting on the couch with some mindless television on. Your hair was wet and brushed out of your face, and you were in a hoodie and shorts.

You sat down next to him, playing with the hem of your ankle socks. Neither of you knew what to say at this point.

"So..." you said, "I'm sorry about how that went."

He let out a sigh, scratching his cheek gently, "Yeah, me too. I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Seoyeon sooner. She's not really a topic I engage."

"So I can gather." your voice was hushed as you hugged your knees to your chest.

Jimin dug for more words, "I'm also sorry that I haven't shown the side to you that I did to her. You know, the dating side. I understand now that it's probably strange for us to move in together when we haven't even been on a real date. You aren't crazy for wanting that."

You nodded, "And you aren't crazy for wanting to avoid past hurt. I can see why you're hesitant. I'm not mad that you have an ex, but she was serious and you broke up right before we met. That's a lot to digest, Jimin. Either way, I shouldn't have made you feel like you're a bad boyfriend for it. And regarding the dating stuff, I know I shouldn't expect typical boyfriend treatment from you, especially if you've been burned before for trying. It's just, my parents said something to me when they were at my apartment. They pointed out that there has been no real action for us going public. We've said we will, but haven't really moved forward with any plan. Pile you asking me to move in, and then all of this new information on top of it, and I felt the doubt creep in."

"I understand," he said, "I just want you to know it's not because I don't love you. It's because I love you. It's because I love this."

You felt the hurt and anger rise again. A spiteful, petty woman inside you reared her head.

"You love keeping me confined in your apartment?"

You regretted it the second you said it, but it was too late. Now the man next to you had to try to compress his irritation. He looked down, features tight with displeasure, "I told you, I don't relish hiding you."

"You just said you loved this."

Jimin sprung off the couch, making you jolt a little. He put his hands behind his head. Here you both went again.

"I mean our relationship, Y/N. Jesus Christ..."

"Well sorry, but you're sending mixed messages," your tone was sharper now, "You say you don't want to keep us a secret, but you love our relationship as it is. Both can't be true."

He groaned, turning his back to you, "They can, actually."

Your eyes rolled, "How, Jimin?"

"Because I love the relationship that doesn't subject you to scorn and hate. Because I love the relationship where we have privacy and freedom."

You were nearly speechless until you let out a mocking laugh, "Freedom?! This is freedom to you?! Every waking moment of our lives when we are outside this apartment is an act of theater! Did you know that I don't let myself laugh at your jokes at work? I don't even let myself look at you most of the time out of fear that someone will notice and-"

"And what?!" Jimin turned back to face you, eyes daring you to continue down that road, "Catch us? Because you'll get fired if they do? What an excellent point! God, do you have amnesia or something? How have you forgotten about that?!"

"I haven't."

"Well it sure seems like you have," he seethed, "It seems like you've disregarded every good reason to have conducted ourselves the way we have, Y/N. I won't be the bad guy for taking actions we both agreed on when this whole thing started! Actions that protect you!"

Both of you had shreds of self-awareness remaining, and knew deep down that this argument was becoming asinine. Neither of your points was without contradiction. Unfortunately, grown adults could still behave like children, and you dug yourself deeper into the hole.

You were steaming, "What happened to being sorry that you haven't shown me your 'dating side'?!"

"What happened to not expecting me to be able to treat you like a normal girlfriend?!"

You were both quiet for a moment. Your heads were swirling. Everything was muddled and you didn't know if you'd be able to resolve this tonight. Once more, the conversation had taken an ugly turn.

You fought back tears, whispering, "I don't, because I'm more than your girlfriend. I-I'm the mother of your child. That's my point. And if that's not enough for you to let go of this...this reflexive fear you have because of someone else's wrongdoing, then I don't know what else to do."

"But I am going to let go of it someday," his tone also softened, "You're acting like I've gone back on my word."

"No, I know we are still going to go public. We don't have a choice in all of that, as we have said many times before. I guess...I just wish you'd want it a little," you allowed a couple of tears to roll, "I know you didn't want it with Seoyeon either, but at least you were willing to take a risk for her. I'm already going to lose my job and who knows what else. I would feel better if I knew you weren't just doing it for the baby's sake. Do you ever want people to know about me?"

You ached for him to tell you that he loved you and wanted the world to know. That he wasn't embarrassed by you, that he would be glad for everyone to know he was with you. If only words like that would fall from his lips.

Jimin sighed, muscles loosening, "It's not that simple, Y/N."

It felt like a punch to your gut. You licked your lips to cope and prevent the shedding of more tears, drawing a deep breath into your chest, "No more simple. That's been the story of my life lately."

You then turned around, grabbed your purse, and left.

*3 weeks later*

You walked into your office to find a small bunch of pink and blue balloons tied on the back of your chair. On your desk was a card. After putting your things down, you went to read it. A sweet congratulatory message was on the inside and a gift card to a baby store, with signatures from everyone in the office. You told all of your other co-workers recently, and it appeared they got you something to celebrate. It made you smile, putting your hand on your belly, which had just begun to expand past your hips. Your smiles had been few and far between ever since that strange and troubling night, as had communication between the two of you.

His words were barreling through your mind. You and Jimin had never fought before, and clearly, neither of you knew where to begin the patch-up. The notion of moving in together was on hold, and it seemed like everything else was too. He was checking in with you once or twice a week, but you hadn't seen him since. The relationship was shaken, and it felt dreary. You'd grown to realize how big of a gap was left in your week without seeing him, laughing with him, loving with him.

Chaeyoung ducked her head into your office, "Hey! Do you like your surprise?"

You nodded, forcing a wider grin, "It's so sweet, thank you."

"Well, come on," she said, opening your door wider, "I know you're pregnant and all, so you've been getting here a little later than normal, but the guys have an in-house shoot today. And by today, I mean right now."

Your stomach dropped, "Oh, that's today?! Shit, give me a second."

You grabbed your water bottle and took your prenatal vitamin. Your colleague found it amusing, recalling what it was like to be at the stage you were. Pregnancy brain was real.

The two of you wheeled up the garment racks, pushing them into the elevator, as usual. You felt horrible for not only forgetting about the photo shoot but also what looks had been planned for it. You were essentially going in blind.

When you entered the right studio, the guys were already in there. Even Jimin was on-time. The program of events was the same as always. They needed to come to grab their garment bags once out of hair and makeup, and then you and Chaeyoung would take care of the rest.

The camera crew greeted you both, but seemed especially upbeat when they saw you. One of them, a man named Jongsu, came up to you with a bouquet of flowers and a small gift bag.

"Congratulations, Y/N!" he beamed at you. The other members of the crew either applauded or gave some cheers. You looked around at their beaming faces.

Wanting you to enjoy this moment, Chaeyoung took hold of the rack you were pushing and pulled it along behind her, freeing up your hands to receive these gifts.

You smiled and shook your head as both object were placed in your hands, "Thank you all so much. You didn't have to do this, really."

"Open it!" one of them said.

You set the flowers down gently on a folding table behind you. Navigating your hand through the white tissue paper in the bag, you located the object and pulled it, or them, out.

It was a pair of white knitted baby boots, so tiny that it made you gush, "Oh my gosh, these are so cute!"

They were so little. It gave your heart respite, a moment to let go of all stress and simply imagine the feet that would someday fill these shoes. Your winter baby.

The crew laughed at your response, glad that you liked them. Jongsu gestured to the little shoes, "We heard you're due in January. The little guy or girl needs some warm boots."

"Thank you," you giggled, "These are just precious. I love them."

Meanwhile, Chaeyoung approached the members. It appeared like all of them were finished with hair and makeup already, and were good to go and change. She nodded at the group, "Hey guys."

"Morning." they all greeted her back.

Jimin was focused on you, chatting with Jongsu near the door from which you came. He had watched you open the gift. Chaeyoung caught notice of his seemingly puzzled stare, looking back at you as well.

She then turned her head back to the members and smiled. She figured that he was confused by the sight, unaware of your circumstance, "Haven't you all heard? Y/N's pregnant."

For a split second, they looked at each other. Jimin couldn't pull his eyes off you. Once his friends all began to act happily surprised at the news, he followed suit. It felt mind-blowingly stupid to him. That was his child, and now he was having to blatantly pretend it wasn't.

"T-That's wonderful!" Hoseok chuckled, "We should get her a little something too, right guys?"

For once in the past couple of weeks, Namjoon and Jimin were united in something - they both shot him stern looks.

"Uh, yeah!" Jungkook replied enthusiastically, "We should. Maybe a baby-sized Army bomb or something."

Chaeyoung laughed, "Do we even make those?"

"Do we make what?" your voice quickly approached behind her. You couldn't help but lock eyes with Jimin instantly, but you made every effort not to look too long. If you were both being honest, you were the one who had been more standoffish over the past couple of weeks. You were too hurt by the disregard he showed you that night.

If it was up to him, the two of you would have talked it through and hopefully made up by now.

Even though he assumed you didn't feel this way, your appearance was glowy. Your skin was radiant, your hair looked soft and lush, and your eyes were bright.

He'd been reeling since the argument, just as you were, but he had missed you. The words you spoke that night echoed, pricking him like needles. While the comments still upset him, the stint of time without you had taken its toll. He contemplated your points and started to come around to understanding them. Slowly, the fire he felt was disappearing, replacing itself with guilt and a longing to fix this.

Chaeyoung answered your question, snapping him out of his own thoughts, “Oh nothing. I hope you don’t mind, but I was just telling them about your happy news.”

“Yes,” Taehyung gave you a knowing look, persuading you to play along, “Congratulations, Y/N.”

Jin added, “Yeah, congrats. We’re very excited for you.”

The others joined in, including the father of your child.

He looked at you with sullen, troubled eyes. The makeup around them made his expression even more exaggerated, making something inside you begin to hurt, "Congratulations, Y/N..."

You could tell that the guys felt it too. Some of them glanced at their fellow member with concern, while others looked down at the floor. It had always felt bizarre to pretend in front of people at work, but this was on another level.

You feigned a flattered expression, “Thank you all.”

“Oh!” you colleague squealed towards you, eyes fixed on your abdomen, “You’re starting to show!”

Now was not the time for this.

You looked down at your slightly distended belly and put your hand over it. Part of you wished you were wearing something looser or a cardigan so that you could conceal it from their view. You felt Jimin’s eyes burning through you, and this time you couldn’t bear the awkwardness of looking at him. Suddenly you felt a spasm of remorse for not coming around sooner. If only you had, this special moment of seeing your bump for the first time wouldn't have been tainted.

“Y-Yeah," you said, "Just recently."

He felt like he could have thrown up. There it was - the thing he’d been looking forward to seeing for weeks. Your belly had finally popped, and he couldn’t even celebrate it with you.

Chaeyoung clapped her hands once, “Right, well, you boys go get dressed.”

They all went along with it, Jungkook having to nudge Jimin to get him to move. He couldn’t pull his eyes off your belly, as if he was in a trance. The youngest member touched his lower back to urge him forward. Reluctantly, he grabbed his bag off one of the racks and went with the rest of them.

All of the guys wound up in the same private dressing room to strip down. Jimin removed his shirt, while the others cautiously watched him. He looked totally zoned out.

They knew that the two of you had an argument and what it was about. To say the least, it only cemented Namjoon's low opinion of you and the situation. In the minds of the others, they could empathize with both sides. They knew damn well why Jimin was hesitant to make the same mistakes he made with Seoyeon, but they could also understand how it must have felt for you to discover that. Still, they had no idea that he had asked you to move in with him - Jimin wasn't ready to accept even more backlash from the group leader.

"That was weird." Yoongi said, hoping it would get him to talk.

"Yeah," Jimin muttered, "It was."

Most of them had no idea what they could do. They didn't know if this was the time to support their friend or encourage a resolution to this conflict. Namjoon was biting his tongue. He wanted to let his thoughts loose again. What he had thought about you before was only emboldened now that this argument had occurred.

Always one to try to concentrate on the bright side of things, Hoseok offered Jimin a soft grin, "Hey, at least she looks healthy, right? She's popped exactly on schedule."

The others gave him perplexed expressions. Jimin's was the most pronounced, "How in the world would you know that?"

"My sister's been through this," he shrugged, "Plus I have a girlfriend who is childbearing age. Women love to talk about this stuff and I'm a good listener. Sue me."

"And those little boots they gave her," Taehyung put his hands over his chest, "They're so cute."

Jimin scoffed, "How is making comments like that helpful right now?"

The room was quiet now, minus the sound of zippers and fabrics brushing against skin. They knew he had more to say.

Eventually, he went on, "I feel so fucking useless. What kind of a man am I? She's out there having everyone think that she got knocked up by some other guy that no one's ever heard of."

"I mean...No one is treating her poorly because of it." Jungkook said.

"That's not the point," he sighed, "The point is that's my kid. And she's my girlfriend."

"I'm sorry, I can't take this anymore," Jin rolled his eyes as he pulled on his chosen shirt, "The fact that you've gone this long without making up is ridiculous and it's unlike you. If your masculine pride is hurt, then take charge and go fucking talk to her."

The group was surprised by the slight outburst of their oldest brother, but most agreed with the sentiment behind his words. Their patience with this was getting thready, if they were all honest. This cohort of men never enjoyed drama, and lately, nearly all of it was centered around this one relationship.

"She doesn't seem to want to talk to me," Jimin argued back, "She barely gives any response to the texts I've sent her. I won't force her to talk if she doesn't want to."

"Fine." Jin briskly walked up to the younger man and snatched his garment bag right out of his grasp, “Then I will.”

He pulled out Jimin's black button-up, which was supposed to be worn under a burgundy jacket. Holding it up in front of him by the hanger, Jin pinched one of the top buttons between his fingers and snapped it off. The button fell to the floor with a soft tap, the threads hanging.

Jimin was aggravated but lacked the energy to show it in full force. He inhaled and exhaled deeply through his nose, pursing his lips together, “And please tell me what the fuck that was for?”

The oldest member chuckled, bending over to retrieve the button and placing it in his hand, "You'll thank me later. Now hurry up. You have to get that fixed now if we want to start on time."

In a gust of irritation, he took the shirt from his hand. He got the rest of his outfit on and retrieved his burgundy jacket before making his way back into the studio.

Once he was out of the changing room, the rest of the boys shared a laugh.

"Jeez, that was unusually direct of you, hyung." Yoongi smirked, zipping up his black boots.

Jin shrugged, "Needed to be done. They have to get their shit together."

"I feel horrible for the tough circumstances they are facing, but I agree," Jungkook added, zipping up his pants, "She's already in the second trimester. They need to figure out the next steps."

"Maybe it's time for us to step in too," Hoseok mentioned, "I said a while ago that it would be nice for Y/N to get better acquainted with us and the other girlfriends. I think it would help her a lot. Both of them, actually. They need to feel like they have a circle of friends to lean on. As a couple."

The photographer was adjusting the lighting and taking test shots, and the makeup crew was cleaning up their space.

Namjoon was getting his jacket lint rolled by Chaeyoung to ensure everything looked perfect. The man had a knot inside him. He was glancing at you every once in a while. If he didn't think it would ruin his friendship with Jimin and throw their lives into turmoil, he could have outed you there and then.

The stylist took note of his warring expression, "What is it?"

The leader realized he had to compose himself, "Nothing, just surprised about Y/N's news. It's wonderful, though."

"Isn't it?" Chaeyoung giggled, "If I'm being honest, I was slightly concerned at first. As her friend, I want to make sure she's taken care of. I trust that you'll keep this to yourself, but the father isn't necessarily a serious partner as of now. That worried me at first, but then she told me that the father is very affluent. She'll be able to manage, with a nice supply of child support."

The world went red for Namjoon, "Oh she told you that, did she?"

The woman was perplexed, ceasing the lint rolling for a moment, "Yes...is it such a wrong thing?"

"Not at all," he seethed internally, "That's comforting, actually. Y/N shouldn't have to deal with the strain of raising a child on a single income."

Not that he had any doubt before this revelation, but now he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he didn't inform Jimin about this. Now, you were speaking of your relationship to others, behind his back. it didn't matter if you were telling people the truth about this baby's parentage - you were disclosing about wealth. As far as he knew, you would soon let the secret out yourself. Namjoon had to put an end to this.

You were a safe distance away from the two of them. As soon as you heard the door of the changing room open and close, your gaze naturally trained in that direction. Much to your dismay, Jimin was shirtless. Both his shirt and jacket were draped over his forearm as she approached you with a certain diffidence on his face. You were the only one who could fix what Jin had done fast enough.

He stood before you, averting eye contact, "It appears I have a wardrobe malfunction for you to deal with."

Trying to be cordial, you nodded, "What is it?"

"A shirt button."

You hummed in understanding and took his black shirt from him. Jimin could have stayed behind while you walked away to perform your work. He could have simply struck up a conversation with another staff member, but he followed you anyway. Perhaps a small piece of him was grateful for the excuse provided by Jin to speak with you.

You walked to the other end of the spacious room and sat down at one of the folding tables, getting your supplies out from your waist pouch. As you examined the problem area, Jimin stood next to you.

"This was ripped off," you observed, "The thread is broken right here in the middle. Did you...?"

You glanced at him, but then you were given a stark reminder that he was shirtless and looked away. You'd seem all of them shirtless during times like this, but it was different.

Jimin cautiously confirmed your assumption, answering you with a quiet voice, "Yeah, it was done on purpose. But it was Jin, not me."

You casually checked your surroundings. No one was within earshot. You weren't oblivious - you knew why Jin would do that.

"This feels familiar, doesn't it?" you sighed, threading your needle.

He seemed clueless, saying nothing.

You smirked a little with a shake of your head, keeping your eyes on the sewing task, "This is how you and I met. Me re-attaching a button to your shirt. It was in this same studio, at this same table."

Jimin remembered. He was taken back to that day when you'd managed to turn his life anew, after such devastation. Then the past year played in his mind, so many moments with you. All the sneaking around at work, the relentless fucking, the blooming feelings of love, the coffee in the mornings after.

And now, that same woman was here, with a growing belly full of his child. Two people that he couldn't acknowledge in front of the world. It felt criminal now.

He pulled up a chair so he could sit next to you. Careful to use a low volume once more, he offered you his sincerest eyes, "Y/N, I-"

"Hey, Y/N, hurry up with that! We're about ready over here!" Chaeyoung called to you.

You looked back at her, "Okay, one minute!"

Your eyes landed on him before returning to sewing. You weren’t entirely keen on having this conversation here.

“Jimin, not right now.” you mumbled.

His spirits were let down, but he could understand. He cleared his throat and offered you a soft grin, “That’s okay. I just wanted to tell you that…”

You looped your thread through for the last time, fastening the button back in its place, waiting for him to finish his sentence. But he didn’t. He just trailed off. When you looked at him hesitantly, you saw his gaze fixed on your belly again. It was a pained, longing gleam in his eyes.

Before you could ask him to finish, he appeared to snap out of it, “That those little boots you got from the crew are really cute.”

You gave a tiny smile, and his got bigger. At last, an ounce of unity. Then both of you broke into a mutual, subdued laugh. Despite everything, you couldn’t help it. His expression was adorable and, well, he was absolutely right.

“I agree,” you said, lowering your voice even more, “Our baby’s first present.”

Then you handed him his shirt back, good as new. He put it on while you held the jacket. When he was ready for the outer layer, you positioned it behind him, holding it up so all he had to do was slip his arms through.

“Thank you,” he said, giving the lapels a good tug, “Good?”

You gently giggled at how he was extending his arms outward, showcasing the outfit, “I’m satisfied.”

Jimin could have made a dirty joke there, but decided against it. As the two of you began to walk back to the group in the middle of the room, he realized he needed to say something, and fast. Otherwise, he didn’t know the next time he’d see you in person.

He muttered in your ear, “I want to talk.”

You sighed, giving in. You were still offended, but it couldn’t go on like this. Things were progressing inside your belly. It was time to suck it up and come back to the discussion.

“I do too…your place I assume?”

He could have easily agreed to that. It was the only practical option either of you had known thus far, but this conflict proved that things had to change. Not in the months ahead, but now.

“No,” he said, “Give me the rest of the day to make arrangements. I’ll text you the time and come pick you up.”

“What?”

He smirked, walking ahead of you. This conversation had to end now that you were almost back in the circle. Briefly, Jimin turned around and whispered, “Just trust me.”

The shoot was over, and the members were changing back into their everyday clothes. Namjoon was watching Jimin, pacing himself so that he was getting dressed at the same time. He knew that the younger man would be one of the last to leave the room, and he wanted to time it precisely.

Sure enough, things unraveled how he predicted. When Taehyung exited the dressing room, it was just the two of them. Jimin became exponentially less easy. They'd hardly spoken since the leader's harsh reaction to the unexpected.

Namjoon let out a breath and spoke calmly, "I think you and I need to talk."

"I don't want to right now," Jimin spat, "I need to settle things with my girlfriend first. My relationship with her matters a whole lot more than this."

The older of the two closed his eyes. Remaining rational had to be the priority, "I understand and I agree. Your relationship with the mother of your child has to come first...I just want you to have a full view of what that relationship is."

Jimin chuckled out of astoundment. He could only shake his head as he laced up his sneakers, "You're unbelievable."

"I care about you," he pleaded, "That's what this is. I never want to see you hurt."

Jimin's Adam's apple was exposed as he tilted his head up, face directed at the ceiling as he groaned. As ticked off as he was, he k knew Namjoon was well-intended. It didn't amend the words that were exchanged, though. His head then fell frontward to the floor for a moment as he struggled to find the right words.

"I know you care, Joonie," he sighed, "But this isn't the right way to care. You insulted me, and you were way over the line about her. Your words were so hurtful that I haven't dared to even share them with Y/N. It would devastate her."

Namjoon wiped his palms down his face in aggravation, "After this fight you've had with her, you still don't see it? Surely you must."

He was losing the little patience he had, "I might have been more upset with her weeks ago, but I don't feel the same anymore. Her reasons are completely different from Seoyeon's. This whole thing confuses me, Namjoon. You're an empathetic, smart guy. How can you possibly judge this situation to be the same?"

He would regret saying these next words, but Jimin had a right to know everything. As an older brother and a leader, he needed to bite the bullet.

"Y/N has disclosed that the baby's father is rich."

Again, the younger could only chuckle, "What are you talking about?"

Namjoon lowered his voice, approaching the door so he could lock it, "Chaeyoung told me. She said Y/N described the father as a very affluent man, which will help her financially."

"That's...unfortunate."

The lock clicked into place.

"Unfortunate? That's all? It doesn't worry you that she's out there exposing some of the truth? A truth which, lest we all forget, benefits her massively?"

"You know her well enough to know that she wouldn't mean it like that!" Jimin snapped. He couldn't tolerate this narrative of you having nefarious intentions any longer.

"I know you well enough to know that you didn't catch things like this last time!" Namjoon growled, "You might love her, but the record shows that you don't always love what's good for you, Jimin."

He paused. This conversation was over. He had more important matters to attend to, and he wasn't going to commit any more energy to this.

"That may be true," Jimin's tone became much more docile, "And I believe I have learned from my past misjudgments, but you're right. I should be wary of people who bring negativity into my life, under the false guise of love. So now I have no choice but to be wary of you."

Namjoon felt his chest tighten, "No, you need to listen to-"

"Until you come to your senses, our friendship is on hiatus...I guess it's been that way for weeks, but I'm officially drawing a line. I'm done trying to make you see it my way and I can't spend any more energy on it." he started towards the door.

"Jimin, you're going to get hurt again."

Hand on the doorknob, he didn't even look back, "I hope you change your mind."

You stepped out of your apartment complex wearing the attire Jimin suggested you wear. Your stomach in a mixed recipe of thrill and anxiety, you smoothed your hands over the silky printed fabric of your dress. It had a cream and pink floral pattern on it, with thin straps and a cowl neckline. It came down to your knees, cut upward at one side by a slit. This was one of the only dresses in your wardrobe that still fit you comfortably, the material nice and stretchy.

Your feet were a bit swollen, but you had still managed to get yourself into your trusty nude heels. They clicked on the pavement below as a warm August breeze swept the streets.

The sun was setting, creating orange and pink hues on the shiny cars that were driving by. You had been told to look for a large black SUV with blacked-out windows. Indeed, one was parked on the curb. You were almost positive that this was the right one. Then, you received a text from Jimin confirming it.

He was waiting for you in the back seat, as you assumed. Jimin didn't own a car this large, so you predicted that he'd asked one of their drivers to take you. Typically, the driver would exit the car to open the door for you, but tonight obviously called for more discretion.

Your boyfriend was in a white linen button-up, appropriate for the summer heat. In his usual fashion, he left a couple of buttons undone at the top. His pants were navy blue with an athletic cut. You had no idea if it was what he was going for, but he looked like any other boyfriend, taking his woman to dinner. It brought a smile to your face.

"Hi." you said.

"Hey, beautiful." Jimin greeted you.

Once you were situated in the seat, you closed the door.

"This is Wonshik. He drives us frequently," he said, reaching forward to pat the driver on the back playfully, "Wonshik, this is my girlfriend, Y/N."

You were pleasantly shocked and somewhat petrified at his nonchalant recognition of you. He said the words as if he’d said them a million times before.

Wonshik looked back at you and flashed you a warm grin, "I'm delighted to meet you, Y/N."

"You too." you nodded.

Jimin detected your nerves and took your hand as the car pulled away from the curb. He gave it a reassuring squeeze. His toothless smile resting beneath a pair of twinkling brown eyes was so gorgeous that it made some of your apprehension dissipate. Expressions like this were part of Jimin’s language repertoire. He could say such beautiful things nonverbally.

There was still a conversation to be had, but he had already won back a piece of your forgiveness.

You smiled back at him, “Are you going to tell me where we are going all dressed up?”

“Just a quaint little place I know.”

It wasn’t a quaint little place. It turned out to be a one of the most reputable and exclusive restaurants in Seoul, called Cherry Tree. This establishment only took reservations, and was booked months in advance.

When you pulled up to it, you were dumbfounded, “Here?”

He grinned and handed you a face mask, “Put this on. I know it’s not ideal, and I promise you won’t always have to wear one when we do things like this. Just until we get to our room to take it off.”

“Our room?”

Jimin chuckled, “You’ll see. Just put it on, baby.”

You looped the elastic strings around your ears and spread the mask over your face, as wide as it could go.

Jimin put on a beige fedora with a wide brim that shaded over his eyes. With his own mask on, his entire face was nearly concealed.

You laughed, “I’ve never seen you wear a hat like that.”

You couldn’t see his mouth, but his eyes squinted as a sign of his good humor, “It’s Taehyung’s. Being unrecognizable is the whole point, so I couldn’t wear one of my bucket hats.”

You giggled again. It totally looked like something Taehyung would wear.

Then Jimin spoke to Wonshik, “Do they know we’re here?”

“Just texted their private line,” he responded, “The manager should be waiting to escort you.”

“Thanks, I will text you when we are finished,” he then turned to you once more, “Ready?”

You nodded.

He unbuckled himself, “It might sound silly, but walk behind me to the doors. When we get inside, the manager will take us up and we will be free from any prying eyes. Just don’t look around and people will mind their own business.”

You were timid for a moment, “O-Okay…”

You felt so ridiculous. This is what you’d wanted, yet now you were scared.

Jimin pulled down his mask, letting it rest scrunched up on his chin. He brought your hand to his lips and kissed it, “It’s fine. I know Hobi has taken his girlfriend here before and no one batted an eye. I’ll explain more in a bit, but this place is used to idols dining here.”

You put your full trust in him, following shortly behind him out of the car after thanking the driver. It was fully hitting you as you approached the doors - you were on a date with Park Jimin.

Once inside, the bustle of the street was totally drowned out. You were in an illustrious foyer. What appeared to be the main dining room was off to the right, but you were careful not to look too long, as Jimin recommended. The staff walking in and out of the area were all finely dressed, cordial and proper. In the background, lovely live piano music was being performed.

A man in a classic black suit stood slightly to the left of the front desk, approaching as he saw both of you enter.

The men shook hands and graciously bowed to one another. He introduced himself to you before turning and leading you to the left, where a set of marble stairs existed. The railing was trimmed with gold and cool to the touch as you ascended to the next floor.

Jimin heard your heels clicking against the shiny, potentially slippery stairs. To ensure your safety, he positioned himself slightly behind you, hand on the small of your back. It was the first time he had ever touched you like this in a public setting, filling you with a buzz you'd never felt before. You felt like a real girlfriend, simply feeling his hand on you.

"Careful, sweetheart." he muttered ever so gently in your ear.

You felt like a fool, blushing at the most basic gestures and words, when you should have been holding a grudge against him for the things he had yet to apologize for. At least no one could see how flushed you were.

Once at the top of the stairs, the manager led you through a hallway unlike anything you'd ever seen at a restaurant. There was no common dining floor filled with people - only doors with numbers on them. They were all private dining rooms.

The manager came upon the number eight, "Your reserved space. Please enjoy."

You both smiled and thanked him as he opened the door for you both. He let you know that your dinner would be served in a little while, before closing the door behind you.

The room was intimate, perfectly sized for a party of two yet not cramped. The lighting was dim over a square table, the surface of which was overlayed with a white cloth. A couple of tealights were aglow on the table.

Jimin removed his hat and mask, so you did the same. You were smiling back and forth between him and the setting. The emblem of a romantic dinner.

He kissed your cheek and chuckled, "Did I do well?"

"It's beautiful," you said, "I have no idea how you pulled it off. This place gets booked out months ahead, doesn't it?"

"It does, but there are strings that can be pulled. Like I said, they are used to hosting idols here."

You continued to walk about the room, running your fingers on the back of one of the chairs, "Then how come there aren't photographers? If I was a member of the press, I'd probably stake out front, waiting to catch someone."

He smirked, making his way over to you with a sauntering gait. That look in his eye was all too familiar, all too melting. You set both hands on the back of the chair now, haphazardly gliding them over the smooth wood side to side, gaze fixed downward. You didn't want to become putty in his hands right now. You were here to have an adult discussion.

Jimin was behind you now, resting his chin on your shoulder, "There aren't photographers because the owners of the restaurant take care of people like me. Like us. They go above and beyond to make sure it's all private, for a certain price of course. And they never sell us out to the media."

"Because they know they can keep making a ton of money if they continue hosting idols discreetly." you said.

He hummed and kissed your cheek again, "Exactly."

You turned your head to one side, dodging any further pecks. Though you were grateful for this huge gesture, you still needed to talk.

"Aren't you going to be a gentleman and pull my chair out for me?"

Jimin chuckled, "Only if you do me one quick favor."

"What's that?"

"Let me feel my baby."

You halted. As much as you wanted to keep some pragmatism, you recalled being in the studio earlier, and how badly he looked like he wanted to feel your tiny bump. He had told you multiple times how much he was anticipating it, eager to see the physical signs of his child growing. You weren't about to deny this innocent and wholesome request.

With a soft smile, you turned around. Your faces were inches apart, both of you looking down at your abdomen. Jimin adored this dress on you. The cut of it was straight, accentuating your assets without suffocating your frame. The sheeny fabric showed off the swell beautifully.

His grin was endearing, "Look at that."

You giggled, "I thought you wanted to feel it."

"I do," he chuckled softly, "But now for some reason I'm nervous."

"Why? You’ve felt it before.”

"Yeah, but now it’s…there.”

Your lips pursed for a moment as you sighed through your nose. Then, they formed a gentle smile again. Your hand wrapped around his wrist below, slowly guiding it towards its destination. He had no idea why, but his heart was thumping. It was a bigger deal to him than he could have foreseen.

First his knuckle brushed against your tummy, then his veiny hand fanned out. His palm cupped the area. You were warm, your belly soft and pliable.

Jimin’s smile broke out all at once. He laughed a little bit, coming up with no words to say. You soaked in the moment.

"It's so strange but so amazing," he said, voice hushed in an awestruck state, "A person is being made in there."

Then there was a series of two knocks on the door, startling you both into immediate separation. Although the point of being here was so that you wouldn’t have to pretend, neither of you were willing to risk anyone suspecting anything about this pregnancy.

In came a waiter, carting two dishes. It was then that Jimin pulled out your chair for you, saying, “A deal’s a deal.”

A lovely dinner was placed in front of you. You had no idea that the food was ordered ahead of time, but you didn’t mind in the least. Your boyfriend knew your appetite very well, and you had no complaints. He ordered galbijjim for both of you, and it was the best you’d ever tasted.

Shortly, it was just the two of you again, eating contently.

“This is all so nice, Jimin,” you said in between bites, “Thank you…But when we fought, you seemed against the notion of something like this. What changed your mind?”

He refreshed himself with a swig of water, “Honestly, I was slowly coming around to it over the past few weeks. And then this morning when we had to put on the show for everyone, it killed me. For the first time, it was actually unbearable."

"I agree," your tone was downtrodden, "I know we will likely need to keep doing that for a while, but it was so strange. And I'm so sorry you had to find out about my bump the way you did. I could tell it pained you."

Jimin's face fell, "That wasn't your fault, but it did. Not as much as having to congratulate you, though. It felt like a betrayal of you and the baby, like I was disowning you or something. I'm sorry."

You offered him a weak, sad smile, "That wasn't your fault. It was both of ours. All of it. That's why we need to figure this out, for real this time."

He took his napkin and dabbed his lips a few times, "Right. If it's okay, I want to start by explaining something I said during our fight."

You nodded.

"When you asked if I ever want people to know about you, I said it isn't that simple," he began, "Let me tell you why."

Again, you gave him a feeble grin, "In my reflection, I know what you meant by that. You love me and don't want me to get hurt. I get it."

"No," Jimin's expression was frank, "No, I don't think you do, Y/N. I don't want to scare you, but it will be beyond your imagination. There will be many who accept you, but we as people can't help but focus on the ones who don't. It will feel like the entire world is against you. Millions of people you don't know will suddenly have an opinion of you. Rumors of all kinds will fly around and you won't be able to control them. It's unfathomable to anyone who hasn't been through it. I have, and I don't want to put you through that, let alone our child."

He paused for a moment after mentioning the baby. You let the sentiment absorb. It was heavy.

"That's not to say we shouldn't because ultimately it's best for all of us," he continued, "But that's the reasoning. I can't handle the idea of you suffering what I've suffered over the years."

“Thank you for saying that. I know you want to protect me…us. I know that’s what underlies all of the points you were making during our argument, but please don’t deny that there’s another reason, Jimin.” you sighed, rehashing the topic that started it all.

Much to your pleasant surprise, he addressed it right away, “I don’t deny it. Seoyeon hurt me badly and when you brought her up so suddenly I was alarmed. You were echoing some of the same things she’d say.”

“I know I was,” you admitted, “I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t apologize. You don’t have the same bad intentions she did and I was wrong to draw that parallel. I think I was just shocked we were even talking about her.”

“Well…you could have told me yourself.”

He nodded, “I know. I should have, because I can see how my lack of transparency left a bad taste in your mouth. I don’t have an excuse for that. And in the spirit of transparency, there’s something I think you ought to know.”

Your heart dipped low. You assumed it had something to do with his ex, and goodness knows another revelation in that regard wouldn’t be pleasant.

“Oh no, what is it?”

“It’s nothing I want you to be concerned with, but at the same time, this conversation has made me feel like you deserve to know,” he said, clearing this throat, “Well, it’s about Namjoon. He’s, um, not particularly keen on all of this.”

You put your utensils down. The look on your face took a piece of his resolve away.

“I see…” you muttered, looking anywhere but his eyes, “And would his opposition have anything to do with the things we just talked about?”

You weren’t clueless. You could put the pieces together. He thought you were just another version of her.

Reluctantly, Jimin nodded, “I think it’s a part of the reason why I reacted so strongly to you bringing up Seoyeon. His words were in my head in a moment of weakness. But he doesn’t know anything, and I’ve distanced myself from him for the time being.”

“Wow…okay...” you drifted, “Does he think I’m after money and fame?”

He recalled his skirmish with him earlier, and scowled, “He doesn’t know anything.”

His non-answer was all the confirmation you needed. You were bothered, to say the least. To know that one of his closest friends had such a low view of you was a tough pill to swallow.

“Well then,” you took a sip of water, attempting to spackle on a brave face, “I hope you guys are able to patch things up. Maybe I can talk to him.”

Jimin shook his head, crossing his arms, “Like I said, it’s nothing you need to concern yourself with. Just focus on your own wellbeing. That matters more to me than anything he has to say or think.”

You laid the issue to rest for the time being, accepting it quietly. It was clearly going to put your boyfriend in a tizzy and it wasn’t the topic meant to be discussed thus evening.

“Then I won’t worry about it.”

He seemed satisfied, “Good. Now onto the main issue, the announcement. I know it’s taken a while to get to this point, but I’ve had some ideas.”

[heretherebedork]

Rating the GMMTV BL 2025 Trailers

A little late but I'm okay with that. Doing this after finally spotting @absolutebl's list and remembering I hadn't done it. Let's go!

Cat For Cash: ... Look, I'm a sucker for magic and for animals and, frankly, for First and Khaotung. Very much looking forward to this little adventure with the hopes that the more fluffy stuff GMMTV does will continue to make me happy.

Dare You To Death: Serious adults! Joong getting to smile in a role! I look forward to it all. Very glad not to see another university adventure for them and something that's both serious but also has some levity.

Boys in Love: PODPAPANG TEACHER ROMANCE. Also high schoolers in love. S'all good, right up my alley.

Memoir of Rati: It's historical, it's got AouBoom, it's got suits... it's a lot but I always fear for sad endings with historicals so... it's here but with a bit of apprehension.

Head 2 Head: Bad Buddy meets I Saw You In My Dream? Yeah, I can do that. I can handle that. Plus a second chance romance on the side? Oooo. That's truly rare.

Love You Teacher: I don't mind this kind of thing plus as someone who works in a school and has seen teachers who really should not be working with kids work with kids... I wanna see one where that teacher has to learn to do better. I'm down for it, I can handle anything and I love Perth and Santa in theory and individually.

That Summer: I dunno, it could be good and I really like the side couple from the looks of it but prince/commoner with amnesia and at least attempted hidden identity just always goes wrong for me. Lying is my least favorite trope, y'all.

Burnout Syndrome: Might be Jittirain... but is also OffGun and has Dew and Gun in black lipstick with a lipring? I can handle a lot for that fashion choice and this height differences, frankly. (I am lying, I can't, aesthetics never outweigh shows and characters for me but LET ME LIE TO MYSELF.)

Ticket To Heaven: Look, they're amazing actors, okay? But honestly the whole Christian religion is basically the wild west to me and I don't have any relationship or understanding of it so it just kind of.... exists. But they are good and it does look good so why not?

My Magic Prophecy: I don't have many thoughts on this one? Like, it just feels like it's... there. I'll watch it, I might even enjoy it, but it feels very much just like... a show that will exist.

A Dog and A Plane: Eh. Ehhhh. I like the idea in some ways but I found most of the trailer to be secondhand embarassment rich and I never like that. I do like the idea of the story, I really do, falling in love with someone and finding out he's being cheated on by the person he loves and also a second romance about the affair partner? I can handle it.

Me and Thee: I just don't tend to like GMMTV comedies, okay?

My Romance Scammer: Again, lying is my least favorite trope. I'll watch it. But I don't expect much from it.

Melody of Secrets: I don't like horror, I have only liked ForceBook in Peaceful Property and the trailer itself felt very empty. I am meh.

Only Friends: Dream On: Why? Just... Why? The only upside to this show is a hope that Neo makes out with more homies. Also to let branded pairs kiss other homies. But... yeah. Yeaaaah. I expect this to be rough and unfulfilling.

Keep in mind, this list has nothing to do with quality and everything to do with my very subjective taste.

[thetombedspirit]

First Playthrough of AFoP: Secret of the Spires! - WARNING! Spoilers Ahead!

The Majority of my thoughts throughout playing the DLC.

Finally, I got the glitching drum quest and the Games Camp community basket done and over with! It was a good way to get back into practice with the controls.

Am I just dumb, or is the game glitching on me?! Why won't the plane blow up- OH COME ON! I'M THROWING EVERYTHING BY THE HOMETREE AT THIS MOFO!! - Really?! You wouldn't blow up because I wasn't shooting you in a very specific spot?! Bird you, dude!

Nor? Oh NOOOOOOR! Where are youuuuuuu? Oh, talk of a stranger Na'vi hanging around the area? About time- wait, Rasi who-? Oh, hello, fellow Sarentu character! Have you seen Nor? He's about this tall, clearly emo (and maybe gay) but we never had the talk.

Oooh, I have more skills for my Ikran and I can actually apply defensive armour and cook treats for her? WHERE WERE THESE OPTIONS IN THE CORE GAME!?

Getting mad at video game mechanics is automatically cured by sneaking around and killing video game fascist mercenaries.

... we don't talk about Bruno, no, no, no.

Oh, random Na'vi identified as a Sarentu saved So'lek from a sniper shot! Is it Rasi and Nor? Nope, just Rasi, that's cool! Love how protective Teylan already is of her once I said she was in the base.

Once I finished speaking to Anufi and Tsu'lo, I go up to find Teylan and Ri'nela and on my way I think, "Wait, what if Rasi is Nor's mum?" . I don't think that's the case, or she would have verbalize as such when we were talking about Nor, but how neat would that be. It'd be like we have a piece of Nor with us until we find him. Anyway, now that Rasi is here, I expect us to be re-educated on the way of the Sarentu. Maybe we'll finally get a Na'vi accent 😆

Cons:

This game needs some SERIOUS fine tuning, because I'm having bad guys be 'alerted' to my presence, when I'm literally half way across the map. One instance, where I'm trying to hunt for some Meer Dear, and this chopper just comes out of nowhere, attacks me, flies off to the horizon, but then summons two more choppers and a squad to my location, and they are already in the red despite being several yards away from me.

Maybe I'm just dumb, but I feel like it should not be so hard to find the objectives of certain quests.

Pros:

New Location!

And it looks gorgeous. The Spires are beautiful, there are new animals, and they freaked me out (the whole bit with the tunnels in the beginning, I thought I was being chased by something much bigger and completely ignored the first appearance of the Chiroptera XD)

2. The New Characters

The story kicks off when Anufi asks us to find another branch of the Kame'tire, who have still yet to return. While it is ultimately disappointing that we're not getting an entirely new clan, just a variation of a familiar clan, we are introduced to a new character: Rasi, a fellow Sarentu Survivor living in self-imposed exile.

Speaking of which, I like the one Na'vi that chided me for using a Sky Person name for a Pandoran creature, and my character correcting herself for it. Yes!

4. The Chrioptera

These guys were so cool, and so annoying at the same time. I thought they were gonna be so much bigger, but thanks Eywa, they were Ikran size!

4. Taylen is as cute as ever.

Just throwing that in there, I love my tall, strange son. I love when he starts geeking out, and we have to kindly reprimand him that we are in the middle of a hostile base and nows not the time!

My poor baby misses Nor so bad and just wants him to come back.

Overall View

While I am a little bit disappointed that we didn't get a brand new clan and that we didn't get Nor back, I do think this DLC was worth the wait.

While tiresome that there weren't that many fast travel points around the map, I actually like that, as it forces us to get to places via Ikran, something that the DLC advertised!

And while the new villain of the DLC was pretty boring compared to our literal kidnappers and abusers, he was a very challenging boss and it felt good to hit him with lightning and watch him crash and burn.

And we have a new veteran Sarentu to add to our family. I love that Ri'nela tries to comfort a homesick Teylan by humming the Sarentu song, only for Rasi to appear out of nowhere, singing the words and painting a Sarentu mural (seriously though, how did she get that done so quickly without anyone noticing? No wonder the RDA couldn't find her.)

And that voice cameo of freaking Quaritch basically putting his foot down on our resistance efforts and demanding we get squashed. Nice! And with how pissed he sounds, I'm guessing that this is right after ATWOW, where not only he lost his entire team of Recoms, but lost Spider too. Cuz yeah, he sounds angee.

Love how tight knit our little family has become and how steadfast they are in their bond (thought Ri'nela was running up to hug So'lek for a second, and my man looked so surprised when Teylan touched his shoulder XD) and now they all agree that it's time to find Nor and bring him back to the clan and prove that the Sarentu has a future.

So, overall, while I felt that this DLC was a bit short and the villain had little meat on his bones, this was a good DLC and with how they ended it with a possible sequel game with the mission to find Nor and the cameo of Quaritch so fingers crossed that AFOP comes back and that whatever sequels pops out pops with a BANG!

And hey! Since this game takes place during the one year absence of the Sullys, maybe if they do make a sequel, it'll take place during Ash and Fire! Maybe, Quaritch's cameo is a hint of him coming in, after aligning with Varang and the Mangkwan Clan! Can you imagine? A small clan that is rising to reclaim what is taken from them, vs a clan that has forsaken Eywa willingly and aligned with the RDA! With Quaritch leading them! That'd be bananas!!

Fingers crossed! C you guys around!!💙

[fantastic-mr-corvid]

why is cecio problematic?? 👁👁

buckle up your in for a long ride!!! this might be the most comprehensive post on Cecio yet...

[background info: Cecio is an oc of mine that atm mainly resides deep in the background of part 5 of jjba alongside his older sister Celia and their fucked up found family. that are also in a criminal organization. Cecio is... well read on. warnings for mentions of gross misuse of police power, read more as this got longg]

Hes a self centered man who was manipulated into not only throwing away his only shot at escaping the poverty and violence he was born into, but metaphorically sold his soul to the devil twice, by becoming a mafia plant in the local police force.

He has no shame and while he spins a tale of a dead sister- [Who is very much alive but took the opportunity to shed her old legal life] wrapped up in gang violence to earn money for him, with him not knowing until it was to late, then after learning the horrifying truth because of her death, joining police training to avenger her- its nothing but lies wrapped around a tiny kernel of truth. what truth? who knows. certainly not anyone around him

Reality is subjective to Cecio, his mind bending facts and obscuring the aftermath of his actions so he can stomach himself, playing a constant game of deluding himself that he has no other choice and is just trying his best- on some days he even believes it

He uses his power often and to devastating effect, setting up rivals and traitors and even just people who got in the way for jail or death, using faked evidence and emotional manipulation. a snake of a man he plays the moral man in a den of greed and yet leads all people who join with even the faintest shred of good in their hearts into the jaws of greed and despair.

Cecios greatest trick is those grains of truth and genuine emotion at the heart of his greatest lies- his false flames of passion for justice are instead fueled from a desire for him and his loved ones to survive, his kindness stolen and reused from others, little lies he tells himself as so to create 'genuine' emotional reactions. Every victim is his dead mother and supposedly dead sister, every corrupt cop not on his side is the man who manipulated him, every little thing a lie and misdirection.

He has killed, lied, maimed and set people up to do and have done to them worse. his elder sister Celia may justify everything she does as for their family, but Cecios justifications pile up so high all they are is truly hollow- no semi-noble sacrifice for the good of their family, but a selfish desire for power and survival with only his tenuous connection to that family as what stops him from being entirely heartless- or if you look at it another way if it wasn't for his family he could have a heart without risking others if it is weak and fails.

Life handed him suffering over and over and because of that he sees himself as the ultimate underdog- no matter how much power he grows to hoard. He is always sixteen and being told he has to do this to help his sister, after all she has done for him.

[b4kuch1n]

Hello! As you guys have seen, I’ve been figuring out the dip pens recently for a project, and I’d love to draw a guy of your choice as practice!

Head Over Here (Or Input The Link In The Picture Above) To Get A Slot

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UPDATE 20/06/2023: 3/3 slots filled. Thank you so much for your support, and please stay tuned for the next round!

[theinfinitedivides]

this is so random but i would love to hear your opinion on mydramalist as a fellow asian drama lover. because it’s obviously well known as a reliable wiki of sorts in dramaland but i beg to differ. (the only plus i feel being the summary and cast list for info)

i mean, i’ve not seen a single comsec w more than two brain cells as a whole? there’s always complaints about female leads rooted from misogyny, they are never happy about story progression, and i just find so many of them kinda dumb sorry lol. like zero media literacy to be found, insufferable arguments, etc. the star ratings are rly just given to popular dramas w high profile actors too.

and i personally find it disheartening that so many ppl end up referring to mdl when considering dramas because so many gems are then lost and not given appreciation.

anon. anon anon anon if you know the way i sat straight the f*ck up when i saw the notification and then read through this ask bc yes. yes to everything here that is exactly it. almost three fourths of what i've watched this year was either 1. not received well by the general MDL crowd (Moon in the Day. where is the taste brethren to not like MITD and not even for reasons that actually make sense), 2. received well but had a good chunk of people bitching in the comment section, or 3. received well but had the main point of the show (and its relevant characterization) go over their heads. (The Worst of Evil aka TWOE comment section, i am f*cking looking at you. i can count on one hand the number of people who understood what that show was supposed to be about) the one fourth that managed to escape was bc the toxicity did not reach the comment section and everyone was pretty f*cking civil. alas if only it could be like that all of the time

case in point for the ratings example, since we've already briefly tackled the lack of media literacy—j-dramas on MDL are notoriously rated much, much lower than either k- or c-dramas. half of the time that's bc there are less users watching (and rating) them therefore the average is lower but the other half it's bc people simply do not understand good media when they see it. don't get me wrong there's some freaky ass sh*t in the j-drama world that i would not touch with a Grinch level pole but to see MDLers out here talking about how slow j-dramas are and that nothing's happening. have you considered that you are either watching the wrong genre or you shouldn't be watching j-dramas in the first place bc their entire setup and general narrative framing arcs are not your style. have you even thought about that for six seconds or are you too busy expecting it to read like a typical tropey rom-com k-drama with your trending oppas. (no hate on my tropey rom-coms with [most of] said oppas, i need them when i don't want to think i just want to see sh*t on my screen and scream about hot people and the Hand Umbrellas in the Rain and the Back Hold when the male lead catches the female lead before she falls and you have the fifteen second focus on their faces just looking at each other)

and the misogyny. oh God do not get me started on the dichotomy that was the Cult, as we affectionatly called ourselves, on the feeds while THEE sageuk of the year My Dearest was airing (beloved show [that i still need to finish. JangChae i'm sorry ily life hates me like the mf it is 😭], beloved commentary on the feeds. they saw the vision on the feeds) vs the sh*tshow that was the landmine field of the comment section (the takes i saw on Gil Chae, Eun Ae AND Ryang Eum respectively.......... the misogyny wasn't enough we had to add the homophobia into the mix. buy one get one free deal fr fr). you mad man. that sh*t was insane there was a point i banned myself from scrolling farther than the cast section until the show finished airing. i kid you not on average they didn't have even half a braincell. maybe a quarter of a quarter of one. f*cked up just say you are not decent people and go

this is not to say that all of MDL is like this. i have gotten tuned into absolute masterpieces of content (and have tuned others, amen) bc of a comment comparing a show i'm watching to another one or a review being posted in the feeds about a film with less than 500 people interested. i have reconsidered my choice to not watch something after having spirited discussions in private messages discussing the pros and cons of the premise and whether they managed to get it done without f*cking sh*t up. i still contribute semi-regularly by adding relatively unknown actors and crew members to the database so they can get the credit due them. if you know where to look, you can get some good sh*t out of that place. problem is most users who are new to both the site and East/Southeast Asian cinema as a whole don't know where to look, and the cycle continues, and the ratings continue to be skewed/bloated and no one pays attention to the plot, if there even is any to pay attention to.

tl;dr: begging people to not let MDL be the be all end all for their drama recs a la 'well MDL doesn't like it so i won't watch it'. babe we have said MDLers complaining about how the ratings on Viki are too high but in my entire time watching dramas i've found that in the past two to three years the Viki ratings are making more sense than the MDL ones. sit with that for a sec. when you're done branch out and see the world (literally and cinematically), i promise you will be a better person for it

[a-rebellious-waffle]

urgh you know that post about "people who weren't abused don't wish they were abused"

I'm having a real fun night wrestling with that

[haunted-xander]

I literally spent all of yesterday doing the Archon quests + Lyney's story quest in one sitting

[libraryleopard]

Queer medieval young adult rom com with influences from Arthurian mythology

Follows Gwen, the princess of England, and Arthur, the distant descendent of King Arthur, who have been engaged since they were children but can't stand each other

When Arthur comes to visit for the summer they realize they're both queer, the two make a pact to cover for each other and find an unlikely friendship growing between them while they grapple with separate budding romances and looming royal responsibilities

Gay, biracial Iranian/white main character; bisexual main character; Thai lesbian love interest with endometriosis (I think?); gay love interest; M/M romance; F/F romance